Have you all heard of the new series on TLC? Read about it here: http://newsweek.com/id/120362/page/1
It is actually causing a little controversy. The show has a different SAHM (stay at home mom) each episode pretend she is going to a spa for a week (so her spouse is all alone at home with the kids), but she really gets thrown back into the type of career she gave up to stay at home and have kids. At the end of the week, if she has performed well she is offered the job. So she has to choose between the awesome dream job or going back to the life she had before. I agree with some of the comments of the dissenters on TLC's website who wanted the show to go back 6 months later and see how the family was doing with their mom working full time and the kids in daycare.
Have any of you felt like you gave up your dream to have a family and sometimes wish you could go back?
I don't, but it could be because I am lazy or because I feel like I rushed through my education not so I could get out into the work force, but so I could stay home with my child, Jedi, at the time. He was born when I was in my third year of college. When I had him I was going to school full-time and also had an internship. Beau Brummel was also in school full-time and was studying for the MCAT and taking some really challenging classes.
Sometimes I wonder what my life would be like had I waited to have kids. My original plan was to be a news anchor, but when I found I was pregnant, I switched to print journalism in order to graduate sooner. Plus, the broadcast classes were much more demanding time and energy wise. But if I didn't have Jedi when I did, would I have become a news anchor or switched my major to film?
Right now, with just three kids, I feel like it would be crazy and way too hectic to try and work and still get all their stuff done and make sure they felt loved. Tonight PetShopgirl had to do about 2 hours of make up work because she was sick this week and Jedi had a report on Howler Monkeys due tomorrow that had to be typed up and edited. I wasn't doing their homework for them, but I did have to sit there and encourage and help them a ton. HotDog somehow got glitter glue in his eyes and I had to wash it out while he cried and cried. How could I have done just those things if I had been at work all day? I don't think I could. I don't think I would have the energy or patience. Of course this week is a little different since Beau Brummel is in the Dominican Republic, pouring concrete and holding people down while they have their teeth pulled. When he goes away I have to be a single mother. I don't know how single mothers do it, you don't realize just how much your spouse does for the family until they are gone.
Do you gals have careers you gave up and miss? I guess some of you are still working. How do you fit everything in?
3 comments:
I work from home and find it hard to balance everything. My work usually takes precedence over my home life. It seems like if I am doing my work stuff well, then I neglect housework or the kids and vice versa. I think it would be a good idea to show how the families get on after the mother has been working full-time on that show. I can't imagine that her kids will be happy that she is working full-time and carting them to a sitter or daycare everyday. I think that 10 years can go by really fast and that mothers who want to work full-time can wait until their kids are out of the house or at least in high school to do it. By not being at the crossroads for your kids (when they leave for school, get home from school, go to bed, mealtimes) you miss so much. Those are times when your kids will talk to you about problems or successes. I don't think the weekdays worth of parenting you miss by going to work full time can be made up in two days on the weekend.
I tried to go back to work after Sally was born... I lasted 2 hours before I called my husband to take me home. I had always planned to keep working, and at the time, Guy Noir was working and in school and I was planning to work during his off-time so that Sally didn't have to go to daycare. After I went back, though, I couldn't help feeling that no amount of money or social status could replace the things I would be missing as her MOTHER. I have often wished I had a job- at least for the adult conversation- but I have NEVER regretted my decision to stay home with her. I can't imagine how working moms cope- and how their kids cope. I know that sometimes it can't be avoided, but I think a mother's place is in the HOME!
Nutellafiend, I think that it's awesome that you work from HOME- I don't know how you manage it, but I think it's great that you value your kids & family enough to try. If not working isn't an option, then I think working from HOME is a wonderful solution- because even though your housework may be neglected at times, you are still around for all of the milestones & misfortunes that your family & kids will experience.
Flashlight and I are academics. He teaches full time and I teach one class. We've worked our schedules so that when I'm teaching, he's taking care of her. When #2 (a girl!) is born in July, I still plan to start teaching in August. We've worked our schedules so that I will teach at 8 am and be back home in time for him to get to his first class at 10am. I love art history and teaching it and would go crazy without something academic to do. That said, I'm in a really fortunate position where don't need the money and Flashlight is super-supportive. When all of my kids are in school, I'll go back to work full-time. Meanwhile, I'm here for Headbanger and she gets some extra dad time during the week. I feel that I have the best of both worlds.
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