Meltdown Prevention

I really only have major meltdown problems with HotDog, but they are pretty major. I actually held him back from going into kindergarten this year because I didn't think he or his teacher could handle full day kindergarten with full strength meltdowns. On his first day of preschool I asked him how it went. He said, "Not so good. I had five fits." But the number of fits has gone down and virtually disappeared since he has been going to school every day. I thought this article was helpful.

Comme une lettre à la poste!

"Like a letter through the post". That's how I would comment on the school start this year. We used to struggle with Satsuki and Mae (that's how I will call my number 1 and 2, following "My neighbor Totoro" animation that we LOVE and all the Miyasaki movies in general that I strongly recommend to you). And since this year, Bouclette is going to school as well. She is 3 year old and was really impatient to go to school. We were a little afraid that she would be disappointed but no, not at all! She pulls her sisters behind her, being so enthousiastic in the morning, the 2 elder ones just follow and we don't need to rush anymore to catch the school bus. How wonderful... I am not the one who drags everyone now, a little girl full of energy and full of life is doing that for me, for us. Bouclette is exceptional!! She shines. There is no other word.

Giant bubbles

Recipy of the giant bubble for fun with the elder ones and fun for the dad. Sorry this one is in French, but I can translate 25% water, 5% sugar, 20% dishwashing liquid like Fairy (the green colored one), 10% glycerin, 40% water to mix slowly in this order without making bubbles of possible. Let it rest a few hours if you have made bubbles while mixing so that the little bubbles disappear. Then you need a big rope and 2 sticks. And the fun can begin.

Contemplating the Tomato

When we moved into our house last Christmas, we were excited about all of the space that we'd have, both inside and out. Where we live, everyone has at least an acre and we wanted to put our acre to good use. Flashlight planted 10 fruit trees and we're hoping to do more next year, along with blackberry and raspberry bushes. But the fruit we were really looking forward to was the tomato. Supermarket tomatoes in this country are crap. I've even splurged on expensive ones, only to be disappointed by weak flavor and odd textures. Earlier this year, we got very excited about tomatoes. We bought seeds for nine or ten varieties and started about 72 plants in a tray. We babied that tray, taking it outside during warm days and bringing it in every night. But then we put them in the ground way too late. While we had a number of plants develop, we didn't get any fruit. Then, just as other people's tomato plants stopped producing, we started getting tomatoes and I think that they're about hit their peak. I imagine that we'll be getting them until frost kills off our tomato patch. Here's a picture of Headbanger holding our first tomato, which was very oddly shaped. But even the weirdest-looking tomatoes taste fantastic and I've been freezing tasty tomato pulp for the winter. I get tremendous satisfaction from eating food that I've helped produce.

Did you plant or harvest anything this year?

Sweet Sweet Sleep

This past weekend, the four of us went to the mountains near Richfield, Utah to pick berries. It was a long day and the girls conked out in their car seats. It was one of the few peaceful moments we had that day.

Vagina Monologue Continued

I chose this image of a uterus shaped vase because it seems like mine is similarly fragile. So when we last saw our brave heroine (me) she had just had a transvaginal ultrasound. (OK, I'll switch to first person because 3rd is too hard.) Since then I had a colposcopy which is a biopsy of the uterus. That was pretty unpleasant and I absentmindedly scheduled a dinner party for the same evening. My Lady Doctor called two weeks later and told me that I had some low grade abnormal cells in my uterus. So high grade abnormal cells would be cancerous. My cells are two small steps away from being cancerous! That news was really shocking and depressing, but at least they hadn't progressed to malignancy yet. 

So today after putting it off for several weeks because of travel or freakish period activity (yes, I did have another month long period) I had a LEEP procedure where the LD shaves the top layer of cells off of your uterus. It was very unpleasant. There were shots, lots of blood, the pinchy duck and as a special treat, the medicine that makes the bleeding stop comes out looking like diarrhea. Oh yes, and she didn't have all the supplies she wanted so several people were traipsing in and out of the room while my lady parts were displayed in their full splendor thanks to the pinchy duck. (What is the true purpose of the sheet across your lap anyway? Everything is still on display. It does not provide warmth. I think it must be to convey the false notion of modesty.) 

So now all my low grade abnormal cells will be tested further. Hopefully I don't have any malignant ones. Hopefully she managed to get them all in one shot. When the procedure was over my LD thanked me for being so brave (I didn't cry or anything during the procedure). 

What I am really tired of is always having to be tough. It seems like there is never a good time to just let loose and cry as much as I want. There are always children to transport or errands to run or dinners to cook. Today, in spite of having had a minor procedure, I still have to take one of my kids to the doctor and another one to sports practice. We are totally out of food so I have to go grocery shopping as well. I should also fold some laundry and clean a bathroom that really needs it. Frijoles would totally help me and is sympathetic, but he has meetings all day until the kids go to bed:( 

I would love to feel like I was free to feel however I wanted to feel and not have to hide or try to change my feelings because my family or friends are around. One time one of my kids said that I would make a good robot because I have never cried in front of them. I am tired of having to hold it all in, but I have never known any other way of  being. I was raised to hide my true emotions so that I would not embarrass my family or show weakness and allow people to take advantage of my weakness. Is there a "get in touch with your emotions" workshop or a "how to not be a robot" retreat I can attend?

Once again, I would love for my lady parts and problems to take an extended sabbatical somewhere far far away. Oh yeah, and the YAZ has actually made my adult acne worse!