Merry Christmas!

Merry Christmas! Wise men are tasty...

Food. Its what's for dinner

I read the Salt Lake Tribune online most days - or at least look at the headlines. In the last few months, there have been several articles on food pantries. Apparently, food pantries in the USA have received fewer donations this year while demand for food pantry services climbs in the midst of the recession.

Yesterday, I happened to drive by our local food pantry just before it opened. There was a long line of families on the pavement, with a number of mothers holding pre-school age children in their arms. This particular pantry has been holding a lot of food drives in an effort to meet the increasing need.

So chicken little's advice for today is to consider donating to your local food pantry. If you don't feel comfortable or able to give money, please consider a donation of non-perishable food items. Perhaps you've got some cans in your own pantry that you could give. Food. Its what's for dinner...

A Second-Hand Christmas

This is the first Christmas is years that will be a proper Christmas for my family. We've moved during the last few and I'm excited to be at home and looking forward to establishing some of our own Christmas traditions. Hairbaby, who is only 5 months old, will be too young to remember it, but Headbanger is almost 20 months old and will be able to appreciate the fun of big family meals, decorating and opening presents.

As the kids are still very young and will play with anything, I've been trying to find second-hand toys to give them. I've been looking on Ebay, but have had better luck on Craigslist. Last week, I bought a Little People Car Garage set for Headbanger for $10. Its in good shape and it retails for about $30-$40.

Flashlight and I feel that saving money is important this year. New gifts will be kept to a minimum and we'll spend a lot of time making candies and other treats. We've also decided that every Christmas season from now on will involve a Lord of the Rings Extended Edition marathon.

What are your holiday traditions and how will you be saving money this year?

Defeating the Sunday Morning Mommy Monster

Ever since I posted about my Sunday morning struggles, I've been trying to slay the Sunday Morning Mommy Monster. I took an objective look at the time between waking up and leaving the house and observed the following things:

1. I spend a lot of time looking for shoes - baby shoes (2 pairs) and my own. They get lost because Headbanger likes to play with them during the week. She puts individual shoes in her secret hiding places, like the kitchen cabinets, and then I can never find what I need. This, more than any other thing, triggers the monster within to start raging.

2. I spend some time trying to find the pieces to cute baby/toddler outfits. It takes me at least ten minutes to decide what outfits the girls should wear and then find matching tights.

3. The diaper bag is never as ready as I think it is. There are always lots of last-minute additions.

4. 50% of the time, Headbanger pulls her pony tails out before we even get to church, so its not worth spending a lot of time on them.

Solution: find the baby shoes the night before, set out the girls' outfits the night before and get started on the diaper bag the night before and don't stress about toddler hair.

During the last few weeks, I've been trying to get organized on Saturday nights and its helped a lot. I can't say that the Sunday Morning Mommy Monster is absolutely dead or that we've arrived at church perfectly on time, but we're getting there. This past Sunday, we even arrived at church during the opening prayer and I wasn't feeling stressed at all. We're making a lot of progress and when Flashlight sees me putting in the effort, he tries harder too.

How have slain your inner demons?

Threats and bribbery

I have a problem. I can not get anything from my kids unless I threaten them of being spanked, or I promise them something they would really like (like a piece of chocolate). That is how they go to bed or they tidy up the living room. When they are doing something obviously bad (like hurting their younger sibling), I have nothing better than to tell them:"Stop that immediately or you'll be spanked. I count to three, ONE, TWO, " and they usually scurry away at THREE. My problem is the following : they start doing the same thing between them, and this is obviously not right. When they tell their sibling, "if you don't come play with me, I won't let you play with my brand new birthday gift anymore". What should I do? How do you do to foster a positive atmosphere into your house? Why do people need to threaten each others? Fortunately, the relationship between Monsieur and me is based on sound grounds of love and speechless cooperation. Why can not it be the same between my children and me? And why are they so cute when they are sleeping and you forget everything!!

The Proper Way to Weigh

So I have been getting very discouraged lately... I am pregnant with my twins and it seems like I am the land-locked equivalent of a blue whale. I am 28 weeks along and already bigger than I was when I delivered both of my other two kids at 40 weeks. My biggest problem is that I never really lost the baby weight from the last one (who is now 16 months old) and so I am just piling more and more on top of that. It feels like I'm drowning. My sweet hubby still tells me I'm beautiful and attractive, but I just don't see it. I am really past the point of any sort of exercise regimen for the duration of this pregnancy... mostly because things are so tight in there that I get winded and often light headed just walking across the room. Plus, I have major circulation issues in my legs while I'm pregnant which makes exercise really painful (horrible varicose veins). I need a good post-pregnancy diet/exercise plan to look forward to, but it can't be too restrictive because that never works... I will also have 3 babies and a 5 year old to deal with so it needs to be very flexible. Do any of you have a plan that worked really well for you?

The Sunday Morning Mommy Monster

On Sunday morning, every week, I turn into a stress monster. For some reason, we cannot get to church on time. Church starts at 9am and we live 20 minutes away, so we should really leave the house by 8:40 if we want to get there on time. We're doing well if we leave the house by 9. Yesterday, we left at 9:15. I spent 15 minutes trying to do Headbanger's hair, getting more and more frustrated with elastics and clips and hair that would just not do what I wanted to. I was so engrossed in her hair that I failed to realize that she had unscrewed the lid to the handsoap and was spreading it all over the counter and the mirror. As I was finally getting Hairbaby into her car seat, she spat up all over my arm. It had taken so much effort to get to that stage, that I decided to ignore the spit up and just get in the car and go. I'm convinced that I get up at a reasonable time on Sunday mornings, but things never go as planned and it is REALLY hard to get Flashlight out of bed early on a Sunday. I can be a sane and relatively calm and patient person throughout the week, but by the time we are all in the car on a Sunday morning, I'm about ready to shout at everyone, including the baby. At I time when I should be focussing on the important things in life, I am seething over the time it took Flashlight to shower and the last minute diaper changes, which normally do not bother me. As I walk through the front doors I am feeling thoroughly un-Christ-like. I hate being late for church (or anything, really) and I hate that I get so stressed about it. Sunday mornings are the low point of my week. They turn me into the Crazy Lady.

Is there a time in the week that regularly sends you over the edge?

Women Helping Women

So while I was doing some research for food storage (specifically what kinds of sanitary supplies to store) I came across a something that just blew me away. In Africa and other developing countries, girls only have rags or newspaper to use when they have their periods, or even worse they have nothing at all! This makes it difficult for them to go to school on the days that they are menstruating. 

Some companies are providing disposable sanitary supplies for them which is good, but has a downside. There are no public waste disposal facilities and so the pads and tampons (containing plastic and chemicals) and covers end up being burned which releases toxins into the environment. This also makes it so the girls are having to rely on an outside source instead of being self-reliant once they had the washable pads.

I thought it would be neat to challenge each member of this blog to make 6 reusable cloth pads to donate to Goods 4 Girls (and if you are feeling ambitious, 3 zippered wet bags to carry wet or dry pads in). There are a variety of patterns to choose from and they don't look to hard to make. If you feel too intimidated by sewing to make them yourself, you can also donate money to the cause or buy cloth pads from an online store and they will mail them to Good 4 Girls for you.

I have had some real challenges with my period lately (I know nutellafiend and ms. jones hear me) and am so grateful that I can drive to the drugstore and buy myself sanitary supplies whenever I want. After reading about these girls without access/money to buy pads or tampons, I felt like a spoiled brat because I complain a lot about my period. I have sanitary supplies, soap, hot running water, wipes, Midol and Ben and Jerry's to help me get through my period. I can't imagine having to sit in a hut on a pile of newpaper for days while I wait for my period to end. I feel so fortunate that I live where I live in the pleasant circumstances that I live in!

I think we could do a lot of good with a little effort. You can use fabric you already have as long as it is clean. You might have to buy some waterproof fabric and snaps or velcro and zippers, but the cost should be minimal. If you don't have any fabric on hand, many fabric stores sell remnants for much cheaper. Some of the recommended fabrics are flannel, cotton-T-shirt and PUL. 

Are you gals in? I think a good deadline would be the end of January after the holidays are over. Does that sound reasonable? 

I think this would also be a wonderful humanitarian aid project to suggest to your church or other women's organizations you belong to. I am going to suggest it at my own church.

Complete information and instructions can be found at Goods 4 Girls.

No Child Left Behind?

• 
  All this talk about school has me a little fired up! Here's my beef...
  
  In our school district, we live in the SF Bay Area in an affluent area, there are early intervention programs for children with all kinds of disabilities. Any kind of disability you can think of is covered. Here is a list of some of them, straight off the district website.
  Deaf/Hard of Hearing
  Deaf-Blind
  Visually Impaired
  Speech-Language Impaired
  Specific Learning Disability
  Multiple Handicapped
  Orthopedically Impaired
  Other Health Impaired
  Mentally Retarded
  Emotionally Disturbed
  Autism
  Traumatic Brain Injury

They start working with these children as soon as they are identified, sometimes as early as age 3, by their teacher/parent/pediatrician/etc. These programs adapt the state's curriculum based on the child's abilities/disabilities. They are given an Individual Education Plan. I think these programs are neccessary, useful, and obviously, costly.

Here's my pet peeve, what do they do for children on the other end of the scale? Those who might be bored in class, frustrated with the slow pace, need more challenging work? The answer is: almost nothing. They don't even attempt to identifiy these children until the end of 2nd grade. Then, like most districts, they offer enrichment programs, like GATE (Gifted and Talented Education). These enrichment classes are in addition to their normal curriculum and the kids must make up any regular class work they might miss while participating. There are also two classes of mixed 3-5 graders at one elementary school where the top 1% of kids tested in the district can go to be challeneged and interact with like-mided children. That's it, that's all.

What about the rest of kids? Shouldn't the schools try to recognize and incorporate all children's abilities and adapt their rigid standards to fit all kids? I know that the district relies on the state for funding and standards and I think California is failing. What do you think? How are your schools doing in identifying and accomadating children of all abilities?

She Talks Too Much, She Never Shuts UP!

So I have noticed that I seem to only have LDS friends that I actually do stuff with. I am starting to dislike this a lot since it seems like I have to be around a particular person who has a grating personality. Last night she completely hogged the conversation and said very rude and also ridiculous things (these are only the highlights):

1. She started talking about late term miscarriages in the presence of someone who is 8 months pregnant.

2. She said that she was living her religion to the fullest because she did not finish college and decided to concentrate on having babies. She also said that she can't understand women who choose to work.

3. She spilled several sensitive secrets about people that were not in attendance.

4. She would not stop talking, even when we jokingly asked her to let us get a word in edgewise.

The other crazy part of it is that whenever she said something inappropriate or rude the other people would laugh out loud or give each other "is she for real?" looks and she did not notice or change her behavior in any way. I was so annoyed with her that I ended up unwisely venting to other people about her bad behavior afterwards and then my doing that was my own bad behavior (mean gossip!). I feel like a terrible person because I really don't care for her company, but end up seeing her ALL the time because:

1. We go to the same church and so . . . 

2. Besides seeing her Sundays, I also see her at every women's activity sponsored by my church.

3. We have three children the same ages who like to play together and so . . .

4. We end up trading babysitting frequently because we are in a babysitting co-op together and are the only ones with more than two children.

5. We have the same circle of friends and our town is really small so we end up spending a lot of time in each other's company whether I initially choose to or not.

I really feel like I need some space from her, but I don't want to be mean and I don't want to be cliquey. I also feel like if I want to see my other friends I can't avoid seeing her too. I was so frustrated today that my husband actually started trying to make a list of friends for me to hang out with who don't know her. 

Does anyone have any passive suggestions for easing this person out of my daily life? 

Wiki-how had this advice, which I mostly found funny, but too mean to try.

She is so clueless to the fact that she ruins social situations with her constant nonsensical chatter (ie. movie night where she talked so much we couldn't hear the movie) that she actually called me today and asked me if I wanted to meet her for lunch after our horrific evening last night and asked me to babysit for her tomorrow!

Any words of wisdom? Has anyone had a similar situation? 

I know I am mean. I accept that about myself. I can't be Sally Sunshine all the time.

Help Me Understand Homeschooling

Growing up, the only people I knew who homeschooled their kids were my aunt and uncle, who were (and still are) extreme fundamentalist Christians. They really do believe that everyone is evil. As these were the only homeschoolers I knew, I figured that all homeschoolers were crazy. Since moving to my new home in Southern Utah, I have met lots of people who homeschool and I'd say that most of them seem pretty normal. A good chunk of people in my ward do it. Its something of a trend around here, as the homeschoolers add a few more to their numbers every year. But their motives, or what I perceive as being their motives, bother me somewhat. Some people fall into the-outside-world-is-totally-evil camp and I think that some feel that it is part of their religious (LDS) responsibility and this scares me. It almost seems as if homeschooling is seem as a form of super-righteousness.

Do you homeschool? Why do you do it? Would youy ever go back to regular (public or private) school? Please help me understand my neighbors!

You know its time to lose the baby fat when...

your eighteen month old child (Headbanger) comes up behind you, pulls up your t-shirt and slaps your muffin top because she likes to watch your fat jiggle. Its becoming a habit.

Sent to the Principal's Office

OK, technically not really, but she did call me up at home and politely chew me out. Here's what happened:

Beau Brummel's parents were out visiting us last week. Jedi invited them to come to his school to eat lunch with him twice. They went and brought their own lunches both times. No one gave them a hard time. Everyone had fun. Please note that last year at Jedi's old school which is K-3 parents are allowed to drop in any old day and eat lunch with their children. If you want to buy a school lunch for yourself (as a parent) you must tell the school in the morning so they have enough food for you. 

Today I went to Jedi's new school (4th-5th grade) and when you enter the school you must state your name and purpose for entering the school before they will buzz you in. ( Opal*Q, here to eat lunch with Jedi.) You are observed by a security camera as you do this. I went to the office and signed in and put a visitor sticker on. Then I went to the lunchroom and tried to buy lunch for myself and HotDog so we could eat with Jedi. I was told that a) I could not buy lunch because they do not prepare the food at the school, but have it delivered and so would not have enough and b) I must go to the office and get permission to eat lunch with Jedi. (I had already told them I was there to eat lunch with Jedi.) So I went back to the office and asked the secretary if I could eat lunch with Jedi, she said yes, but I couldn't buy lunch there. HotDog and I left and went to a nearby sandwich shop and got lunch and came back. We ate lunch with Jedi and had a good time. For some reason he likes to sit with the girls (who are on one end of the table) instead of the boys (who sit on the polar opposite end of the table with about 6 feet of space in between). During lunch, I noticed that the teachers and other adults were whispering among themselves and looking at us. I just assumed this was because parents don't often come to school to eat lunch with their children. 

When I got home I got a call from the principal of Jedi's school. Here's what she said:

It is inappropriate for me to come to school and eat lunch with Jedi and that they only allowed it for his grandparents because they were visiting from out of town. The school only lets parents eat lunch with their children if they are having trouble at home and need to spend more time with them. The school does not have enough room or food to support parents coming in to eat lunch with their children and she didn't want to open up that possibility. There is nothing written about this particular situation in the school handbook, but probably now there will be. By fourth grade the school wants the children to be more independent from their parents.

I was a little annoyed with the whole situation myself. What is the big fat deal if a child wants their parent to come to school and eat lunch with them once in a while? Honestly, have I ruined their push for independence by breaking this unwritten rule? 

Even though I like the schools in our area for the most part, I am starting to get a better idea of why we have so many home schoolers in this town. The bureaucracy is very strict without a real reason to be and makes it difficult for children to have educational experiences outside of school because they only allow for 5 days of educational experience outside of school for the entire school year. All I can say in conclusion is, "HUMPH!"

Meltdown Prevention

I really only have major meltdown problems with HotDog, but they are pretty major. I actually held him back from going into kindergarten this year because I didn't think he or his teacher could handle full day kindergarten with full strength meltdowns. On his first day of preschool I asked him how it went. He said, "Not so good. I had five fits." But the number of fits has gone down and virtually disappeared since he has been going to school every day. I thought this article was helpful.

Comme une lettre à la poste!

"Like a letter through the post". That's how I would comment on the school start this year. We used to struggle with Satsuki and Mae (that's how I will call my number 1 and 2, following "My neighbor Totoro" animation that we LOVE and all the Miyasaki movies in general that I strongly recommend to you). And since this year, Bouclette is going to school as well. She is 3 year old and was really impatient to go to school. We were a little afraid that she would be disappointed but no, not at all! She pulls her sisters behind her, being so enthousiastic in the morning, the 2 elder ones just follow and we don't need to rush anymore to catch the school bus. How wonderful... I am not the one who drags everyone now, a little girl full of energy and full of life is doing that for me, for us. Bouclette is exceptional!! She shines. There is no other word.

Giant bubbles

Recipy of the giant bubble for fun with the elder ones and fun for the dad. Sorry this one is in French, but I can translate 25% water, 5% sugar, 20% dishwashing liquid like Fairy (the green colored one), 10% glycerin, 40% water to mix slowly in this order without making bubbles of possible. Let it rest a few hours if you have made bubbles while mixing so that the little bubbles disappear. Then you need a big rope and 2 sticks. And the fun can begin.

Contemplating the Tomato

When we moved into our house last Christmas, we were excited about all of the space that we'd have, both inside and out. Where we live, everyone has at least an acre and we wanted to put our acre to good use. Flashlight planted 10 fruit trees and we're hoping to do more next year, along with blackberry and raspberry bushes. But the fruit we were really looking forward to was the tomato. Supermarket tomatoes in this country are crap. I've even splurged on expensive ones, only to be disappointed by weak flavor and odd textures. Earlier this year, we got very excited about tomatoes. We bought seeds for nine or ten varieties and started about 72 plants in a tray. We babied that tray, taking it outside during warm days and bringing it in every night. But then we put them in the ground way too late. While we had a number of plants develop, we didn't get any fruit. Then, just as other people's tomato plants stopped producing, we started getting tomatoes and I think that they're about hit their peak. I imagine that we'll be getting them until frost kills off our tomato patch. Here's a picture of Headbanger holding our first tomato, which was very oddly shaped. But even the weirdest-looking tomatoes taste fantastic and I've been freezing tasty tomato pulp for the winter. I get tremendous satisfaction from eating food that I've helped produce.

Did you plant or harvest anything this year?

Sweet Sweet Sleep

This past weekend, the four of us went to the mountains near Richfield, Utah to pick berries. It was a long day and the girls conked out in their car seats. It was one of the few peaceful moments we had that day.

Vagina Monologue Continued

I chose this image of a uterus shaped vase because it seems like mine is similarly fragile. So when we last saw our brave heroine (me) she had just had a transvaginal ultrasound. (OK, I'll switch to first person because 3rd is too hard.) Since then I had a colposcopy which is a biopsy of the uterus. That was pretty unpleasant and I absentmindedly scheduled a dinner party for the same evening. My Lady Doctor called two weeks later and told me that I had some low grade abnormal cells in my uterus. So high grade abnormal cells would be cancerous. My cells are two small steps away from being cancerous! That news was really shocking and depressing, but at least they hadn't progressed to malignancy yet. 

So today after putting it off for several weeks because of travel or freakish period activity (yes, I did have another month long period) I had a LEEP procedure where the LD shaves the top layer of cells off of your uterus. It was very unpleasant. There were shots, lots of blood, the pinchy duck and as a special treat, the medicine that makes the bleeding stop comes out looking like diarrhea. Oh yes, and she didn't have all the supplies she wanted so several people were traipsing in and out of the room while my lady parts were displayed in their full splendor thanks to the pinchy duck. (What is the true purpose of the sheet across your lap anyway? Everything is still on display. It does not provide warmth. I think it must be to convey the false notion of modesty.) 

So now all my low grade abnormal cells will be tested further. Hopefully I don't have any malignant ones. Hopefully she managed to get them all in one shot. When the procedure was over my LD thanked me for being so brave (I didn't cry or anything during the procedure). 

What I am really tired of is always having to be tough. It seems like there is never a good time to just let loose and cry as much as I want. There are always children to transport or errands to run or dinners to cook. Today, in spite of having had a minor procedure, I still have to take one of my kids to the doctor and another one to sports practice. We are totally out of food so I have to go grocery shopping as well. I should also fold some laundry and clean a bathroom that really needs it. Frijoles would totally help me and is sympathetic, but he has meetings all day until the kids go to bed:( 

I would love to feel like I was free to feel however I wanted to feel and not have to hide or try to change my feelings because my family or friends are around. One time one of my kids said that I would make a good robot because I have never cried in front of them. I am tired of having to hold it all in, but I have never known any other way of  being. I was raised to hide my true emotions so that I would not embarrass my family or show weakness and allow people to take advantage of my weakness. Is there a "get in touch with your emotions" workshop or a "how to not be a robot" retreat I can attend?

Once again, I would love for my lady parts and problems to take an extended sabbatical somewhere far far away. Oh yeah, and the YAZ has actually made my adult acne worse!

How funky is your chicken?

Flashlight and I are thinking of getting some more interesting-looking chickens, possibly something like this one, which looks like a cross between a chicken and a poodle. Evolution is a strange, strange thing.

I'm sorry that I haven't been very active on the blog lately. Hairbaby turned 9 weeks old yesterday and its been "challenging". Flashlight, Headbanger and Hairbaby are all doing well, but I went through a few weeks of depression that made me feel like a crazy person. I think that I'm through that now and have made peace with the fact that I'm now a mom to two (very) little girls. I only became a mom last year and to suddenly have two has been overwhelming. Fortunately, things are settling down and the girls have some overlapping nap time and we only have bad nights every other night. Those small graces have been enough for me regain some emotional strength and perspective. But for a while, I was worried that I'd become The Crazy Lady and would be The Crazy Lady until they started kindergarden.

What makes you The Crazy Lady?

Summer Full 'o' Flakes

So I have had a couple of bad experiences with other people's lack of commitment and consideration this summer. 

I started a mother-daughter book club this summer for Sassafrass and some of her friends and their mothers. I asked about 10 mother-daughter pairs if they wanted to participate. Everyone seemed really excited about it. I said to each mother from the start that I wouldn't feel hurt if they did not want to participate, but to let me know right away. We only met three times the entire summer and only read three short children's novels. I asked everyone for their vacation schedule so that I could plan out 3 dates during the summer when everyone could meet. So the total commitment aside from the reading was 4 1/2 hours. Only three mother-daughter pairs consistently attended. The others did not read the book in time (although they had an entire month to read it each time) or had lame excuses of why they couldn't come (and always after the fact when I would run into them in town). I was really irritated because I put a lot of effort into making sure everyone knew about each book and each meeting (I set up a Mother-Daughter book club blog for goodness sake with all the information on it) and went so far as to send out reminder emails and sometimes phone calls. What I wish is that those flaky people would have just said that they couldn't commit to reading and the meetings in the first place. 

Just say no if you are not interested in something. There is no shame in it. I do it all the time. My friend asked me if I wanted to try rowing this summer and I just told her I wasn't interested right away instead of saying maybe and then causing her to wonder if I was really interested or not. It is kinder to say no than to say maybe or yes and then flake on someone.

Another instance was HotDog's 5th birthday party. He had a Kung Fu Panda/Chinese theme and my mother and I put a ton of effort into his party. We invited 12, 7 said they were coming and only 3 showed up. HotDog didn't care, but I sure did. I made a Devil's Food cake from scratch and decorated it to look like a panda face. I made goodie bags out of Chinese Takeout boxes and printed thank you in Chinese on them. I went so far as to have my mom bring Chinese candy from Chinatown with her to put in the goodie bags. I filled up about 200 water balloons for the kids to throw at Tai Lung (Beau Brummel) as they chased him around the yard. My mom taught them a little lesson on all the wonderful things that were invented in China (she's a Montessori preschool teacher) and then taught them some Tai Chi. We all dressed up in Chinese clothes and we prepared some Chinese food. And only three kids showed up! I happened to see one of the kids who was invited a few days later. Her mother said, "I meant to call you about HotDog's party. I couldn't open the invitation." (It was a word document that I emailed out). She had my number. Why didn't she call? What a LAME excuse. I partially blame myself. I should have called the night before to get a head count, but I thought that might be rude or pushy, but I know now that for a summer event you really have to brand the date and time in people's brains if you want them to show up. 

For Jedi's party we had to pay something like $18/kid in advance so we really needed to know ahead of time who was coming. I sent the invites out 2 weeks in advance and one of his friends never responded. I was in a pickle: should I give their spot to someone else? What if they never told me they were coming, but showed up on the day? They ended up emailing me a few days later saying they were sorry they couldn't come. That information would have been helpful BEFORE the party. We ended up letting our other children each invite a friend and paying extra for one of them which was fine, that made them happy.

I hate that this kind of stuff makes me so angry, but for those of you who know me well, you know that I put my heart and soul into my projects and parties. I think I should stop doing this because it ends up to be really disappointing because people are such flakes nowadays. I guess my problem is that I am sort of a show-off. What would be the point of making a party super cool if only my family were there to enjoy it? What is your view on this? Should I just choose my friends and children's friends more wisely (flakes need not apply)? Should I just have family birthday parties? Should I celebrate my son's half birthdays during the school year instead? Should I become a hermit? Am I crazy to let other people's flakiness ruin my events? What say you?

C'est la rentrée des mamans!

Hi everyone! The title of this post comes from an invitation I received when I was living in France 6 years ago for a mama tea party to celebrate the first day of school. In France, the return to school is called "La Rentée". This invitation implies that it's a new beginning for kids AND their moms.

I have been a homeschooler for two years but this year all three of my children will be going to school all day. Homeschooling, for us, has been an attempt to open the world to our children, expand their experience and exposure to new (and old) ideas. We are living in France until Christmas and it just seemed like keeping them home would be contrary to our philosphy of education. So, we met with the director of the school yesterday and away we go! The kids are nervous but were very comforted by the charming, personable man sitting across the table from them at the school. He told them that his main goal for them would be to become great French speakers, to learn about French culture and to make some friends. He wasn't interested in sweating the rest. I like him already.

I have always loved the fall and the new possibilities it brings, It has always been a more natural time for me than the New Year to start fresh, make plans, get involved, learn something new. I feel energized after a summer of vacations and lounging, late nights, popsicles and ice cream. I feel so excited this year to have some time to pursue some of my interests in France. I want to exercise and take classes, romance my husband and sit in cafés reading books.

I know many of you may have young children who aren't in school yet but you can still have plans! Let's here them ladies!

A Grateful Heart

Many moms, me included, complain at times at the life we are called to lead as "stay-at-home moms". There has been more than one occasion that I have prayed for more in my life, had wished that there was more to my life than tending four kids. But tonight after reading this blog http://adailyscoop.blogspot.com/ & here http://dbkunz.blogspot.com I'll be on my knees thanking my Father in Heaven that tomorrow morning will find Jack coming into my room at 6:15am. I'll thank my Father in Heaven for the fact that I won't be able to go back to sleep because for the next thirty minutes or so Jack will carry on a conversation with his hands. Right when I think this conversation is over and I just might get back to sleep, I'll have to say another prayer of gratitude for the "Ma" I hear coming from the crib in the next room. Asher is awake and the first thing he'll want is me. Not long after this prayer is complete, I'll have another conversation with the Lord and thank Him for the two little girls who just climbed in bed with me. I'll keep that prayer in my heart even when they fight over the covers and push their little brother out of the way so that they can have their backs rubbed. Instead of praying to make it through the day tomorrow, I'll thank my Heavenly Father because I stumbled upon a blog which made me grateful to be a mother of four.

Kids and Sex: A Humorous but Brief Account of My Morning

This morning Flashlight got Headbanger (16 months) out of bed and took her into our bed to give her a bottle, as usual. Afterwards, he set her down on the floor to play and, well, we got amorous (with two babies we have to make the most of what little free time we have). Just as things were "ending", Headbanger, with her sweet innocent face, pops up and hands me a condom (still in the wrapper) that she found on the bedside table. Classic.

I don't think I should tell her this story when she is older.

Cheap Dates Fo' Po' Folks

I don't know about you gals, but I am always looking for ways to save money. Babysitting is usually free when we use our babysitting co-op, but when we don't our dates cost twice as much. Once, a sorority girl babysat for us and her fee cost twice as much as what we spent on the date! It ain't right. I read this article that had some good ideas for cheap dates that are fun, but won't wound your wallet.

Used the Force I Did

Jedi had his birthday party on Friday and I made these cupcakes. If you like, you can read about how I made them and also see one of the goodie bags here.

Worst Mothering Moments

As I embark on my childless trip to Spain and England, I leave you with some funny, but shameful bad mommy moments:

I made some empanadas for a food group and they literally took about 2 days to make. I was an empanada factory for 48 hours. We were short on kid friendly food and so Beau Brummel decided to heat up some empanadas for the kids. HotDog ate them and liked them. Jedi plugged his nose while he ate them, but still ate them. Sassafrass complained and whined and cried and said she would throw up if I made her eat them. (When she said this I remembered a story my friend in England told me about when her sister threw up some peas and her mother made her eat the barfed up peas.) So I told Sassafrass if she threw up empanadas I would make her eat her barf. So of course she threw up empanadas, but I couldn't stick to my threat and make her eat her barf. So I am a double bad mom for making a ridiculous threat and then not following through on my ridiculous threat. But if that sounds bad, get a load of this . . . 

We lived in Hawaii when I was little. One of my friends lived all the way on the other side of the island we lived on. I was headed over there for a playdate and halfway there I decided I didn't want to go and asked my mom to take me home. Instead she pulled over and made me get out of the car next to a sugar cane field and then she drove off. I guess my younger sister freaked out. After all, I was 6 at the time and she was three. She screamed for my mom to go back and get me and just wouldn't stop screaming. So my mom turned around and picked me up. But she claims that if my sister hadn't cried for me I would probably still be in that sugar cane field today. Once, when hiking through Yosemite my mom got tired of another sister's whining and stuck her in a trash can and walked away. My dad pulled her out. I could go on and on about the times we were temporarily abandoned, but that isn't really the point.

Stuff like that puts things in perspective for me. I don't feel so bad when I think to myself, well at least I am not abandoning my kids by the side of the road, ever.

That was cathartic. Please share your worst mothering moments, they can't be anywhere near as bad as the above. And since I'm not six and stranded in a sugar cane field, they are kind of funny now.

A Tale of Two: Two Weeks and Two Days

Yesterday was supposed to be Hairbaby's birthday... But she was born two weeks and two (now three) days ago. So far, so good. If I'm honest, dealing with the little baby is the easy part. She eats well, sleeps pretty well and cries very little provided that she gets held enough.

Headbanger (now 15 months) is the tricky one at the moment. She seems to like Hairbaby and is very interested in her, but is having a hard time adjusting. She often bursts into tears for no reason and needs to be held a lot. She hasn't been sleeping well since we brought Hairbaby home and is harder to feed. She requires a lot of attention and reassurance.

All of the things that were hard after Headbanger's birth are now much easier. Having two presents its own set of challenges:

1. They always need to eat at the exact same time and it is impossible to breastfeed Hairbaby and feed Headbanger at the same time. Ok, it probably is possible, but certainly not desirable.

2. I have to keep them apart unless I'm right there to supervise. Headbanger is starting to understand the word 'gentle', but still has a way to go. She also likes to steal Hairbaby's pacifier/dummy.

3. Sometimes both babies will wake up and need attention in the night. This is hard enough with one and completely exhausting with two. Worse still, sometimes one will wake the other by crying and they'll need attention AT THE SAME TIME.

4. Headbanger will always burst into tears at some point while I'm feeding Hairbaby. If you haven't breastfed before, it can be nearly impossible to get your half-asleep newborn to re-latch onto the breast if you have to interrupt the feeding. As soon as she stops feeding, she's fast asleep.

The hardest thing is having to choose between the two of them at times.

Nostalgia

This post is a little blast from the past for me. I was reading my cousin's blog today and she had posted their recent visit to Veyo Pool.... and the memories came rushing back. Veyo Pool is in Crawdad Canyon, Utah (near St. George). This wonderful getaway was built in 1927 using the hot springs at the bottom of the canyon. Through the years they added a dance floor, picnic areas, dressing rooms, a wonderful café and snack bar, rock climbing and a few other things The pool is located at the bottom of very narrow canyon with high black rock walls. I remember going there often as a child and whenever I think of it, my mind is flooded with dreamy thoughts and images of my childhood days. I used to do swimming lessons at Veyo and I even experienced one of my most embarrassing moments there. When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I had summer swimming lessons. To save time and bag space, I had formulated a brilliant plan to put on my bathing suit and put my dry clothes over it and then all I had to carry was a towel. This worked really well until I undressed and went out on the pool deck for warm up exercises with everyone. About half way through, I realized that I had forgotten to remove my underpants (they were still over my swimsuit)... and not only that, but they were pink silky ones with white ruffles around the edges. I was mortified and ran straight back to the locker room... I don't remember much of what happened after that, I just remember being totally humiliated. hahaha.... I find it so funny now, though. Anyhoo.... this is a very ordinary pool, rectangle with a diving board and a slide. There's a snack bar where we got a treat or corn dog afterwards (the absolute BEST corndogs you've ever tasted!). They had air hockey tables, and there was a small creek near the pool where we caught crawfish. Ahhhh.... those were the days! .

What places or things bring back some of your best memories?

VOTE

Willow suggested that I make this blog for authors only. That means no one else would be able to look at the blog. In the comments, cast your vote to either make it for authors only or keep it open for all to read. I feel indifferent about it, but will bow to the will of the majority. Thanks!

Where Everybody Knows Your Name . . .

. . . and they're always glad you came. . . You wanna go where people know, people are all the same, you wanna go where everybody knows your name.

So I had a SUPER crappy day yesterday full of lame drama and I was feeling really bad about it and then it made me feel bad and sad about other stuff. I spent a lot of yesterday crying and ended up with a GIANT headache. It stunk! Plus, I hardly ever cry. Seriously, I can count the times I cry each year on one hand. It kind of takes a lot of stress and drama to make me cry.

I had to return some books to the library and no joke, as soon as I stepped into the library I felt a little weight slide off my shoulders. I browsed the cookbook and new non-fiction section and looked around in the kids books as well. 

When I went up the the circulation desk to present my card and check out my books the librarian said, "Oh, I already pulled you up on the computer, Opal*Q." Then she smiled her warm friendly librarian smile. A few days ago a book I had requested came in and when I went to pick it up one of the librarians said, "We knew you would be really excited that this finally came in!" I know they are just doing their job, but they really make me feel like they actually know me. I know this sounds really sentimental, but it is true and with the stupid haterade junk that is going on in my life it just feels good to know that there are people out there in the community who care about me, even if it is just book related.

The library is my home away from home. I go there a few times a week and check out at least 50 books at a time. The librarians call me "the lady with the bottomless bags" and always laugh when they give me a 6' long receipt of all the books I've checked out and say, "this one is even longer than last time." I can put my feet up and read while the kids look at books or play with toys or play on the computers. I feel so relaxed in the library, even the smell of books is soothing. The librarians are my Sam, Cliff, Norm, Diane, Carla and Woody, the books my addictive relief.

Is there a place you go where everybody knows your name and they're always glad you came? Do you have a home away from home or a peaceful spot you can escape to when everything in your life seems stressful? 

Me? The Public Library for Union County, AHHHHHHHHHH. . . .

Those Summer Ni-hites

So we had the best time at the Drive-In movies with some friends of ours. I swear, HotDog had a great time too in spite of his frowny face. We got all the kids dressed in their pajamas before heading over to our friend's house for dinner. It was BYOM (bring your own meat). Afterwards, my friend popped a bunch of popcorn and we all drove over to the Point Drive-In Movie Theater. We saw Kung Fu Panda, followed by Indiana Jones. (Two movies for the price of one!) We sat on chairs and blankets for Kung Fu Panda and the kids all caught fireflies and pigged out on candy and popcorn. The night air was warm and breezy. I felt like I had walked straight into Grease with Danny and Sandy, but alas, no cool kitschy candy and hot dogs marching across the screen. 

You could buy cotton candy, popcorn, regular candy, hot dogs and FUNNEL CAKE there though and after the first movie everything is half price in the concession stand. We didn't buy anything that time because we had just eaten dinner and the yummiest cake in the world at my friend's house. It had 10 candy bars mixed into the frosting. I think I'll get it from her and post it. Beau and I were chowing down on candy bar cake during IJ because she kindly packed some for us in a Tupperware. Once Indiana Jones started, we put pillows and blankets down in the back of the car and the kids went to sleep.

The only cons were that the sound wasn't great since it was coming from a radio station and out through our car speakers and the movies started really late to begin with so I dozed off a few times during both movies.

The Drive In movies get a big thumbs up from our family, a really fun start to our summer. I highly recommend it, especially if you are a night owl.

A Vampire for me but not my Daughter

So I'm reading the vampire series. I, like most women who read the book, am into Edward. He is the archetypal male. His got the hair, the eyes, and the body. He also has the charm and the protective nature that most women find appealing. But here's the catch, he is the type of guy that I'd want my girls to stay clear of. If you just examine the way he treats Bella (take away all the meant to be love stuff and the fact that he is a vampire) he's behavior would alarm me as a mother of a teenage daughter. He tells Bella who she can be friends with, where she can go, and what she can do. He also uses he's charm to get his way with Bella. Now to see my point you'll have to step away from your love for Edward and examine his behavior from an outsider looking in. So if you've read the books what's your opinion?

The Good,

I had such a blast at Girls Camp this past week! The theme was Reach for the Stars. I went up as a cook and a fill-in adult leader. In the kitchen I learned how to cook for a large group of people (start three hours ahead and make use of crock pots). I also got put in charge of making things pretty. (See my two cakes for 100 people.) I squirted ketchup in star shapes onto people's plates and fancied up the desserts a little.

I got to know a lot of young women pretty well. When I showed up at camp some of the girls and the adults thought I was a youth leader, age 17. No one believed that I was 30 and had three kids. One of the girls said, "You don't look a day over 25!" This made me realize that each year seems like an eternity when you are a teenager. It felt nice to know that I was young looking. 

The young women were for the most part really warm and fun. I noticed that I was drawn to the mischief makers, but not the jealous haters who tried to make some girls cry. 

I read my scriptures at camp and went on two mountain bike rides. The hike, while it lasted was really beautiful and semi-challenging. There was an 80-year-old woman hiking with us, I was inspired by her. I was asked to give a devotional and was terrified. I absolutely hate standing up in front of a bunch of people and talking about spiritual stuff. I came up with something pretty good and managed to deliver it shaking and bawling my eyes out, but I didn't throw up or toot so I felt pretty good about that.

I got to teach the parlez vouz francee (I know I am just murdering the spelling here) cup game and the girls already knew the other one with the hand clapping and slapping the cup and sing some silly songs I remembered from when I went to girls camp.

I felt like I bridged the gap between the adults and the teenagers and felt comfortable in both camps. One of the teenagers even invited me to her graduation party which made me feel cool. I had tons of fun with the girls and the women (but more with the girls probably because I am so immature). I became a lot closer to some of the women in my ward. I have a new BFF who is 20 years older than me.

There is an awesome little hole in the wall handmade ice cream parlor called Eder's on the way to camp. I got chocolate crunch: light chocolate ice cream with marshmallows, caramel ribbon, and chunks of dark and white chocolate.

If they want me, I will definitely go back next year, but leave my knitting and books at home since I didn't really get much free time. I really appreciated my kids (for still being little and without too much attitude) and my husband for taking care of them so well while I was gone. There is nothing like a week of real live drama to make you appreciate your own life and make you feel appreciated upon your return.

the Lame

The girls only went on one hike. Before the hike they sat through some kind of boring compass, plant and animal identification lectures which took about 2 hours. We started on the hike which was looking really rocky and cool and then about halfway through the sky started dumping down rain with thunder and lightening. We had to hightail it back down to the cars and by then we were all soaking wet. I had just purchased a new raincoat which turned out to not be waterproof. It soaked through in about 2 minutes. Some of the girls were crying and being dramatic and everyone was telling all the stories about people they knew who had been struck by lightening at Girls Camp.

Some of the pranks were malicious. Someone put poop on one of the soap dishes in the shower, luckily it was discovered by a girl who managed not to touch it as she reached for the taps, but smelled it instead. Someone else wrote a cruel note to a adult leader and signed another girl's name to it. Fortunately, we saw it before it every got to the adult leader. Some girls must have been sippin' on Haterade that week. The girl whose name was signed was crying her eyes out because she knew who had done it and had been continually bullied by that girl and had just gotten on good terms with that particular adult leader.

Some of the innocent pranks went South. A handful of girls were dying to prank somebody, but the rule was that they had to get permission from an adult leader to play their prank. They had brought saran wrap, shaving cream, silly string and cornstarch with them to camp. As adult leaders we felt that they shouldn't prank the younger girls and were trying to come up with a solution that would please everyone. Some of the adult leaders were very reluctant to help out around camp and some refused outright to do tasks they felt were beneath them. In frustration, one of the adult leaders told these pranksters that they had permission to prank those adults. I was so tired of hearing the pranksters say that they were going to get someone that night and we couldn't stop them, that I finally said, "Sister so and so already gave you permission. What are you waiting for?" Those girls were up and dressed and armed in about 10 seconds and flew out the door. They got some younger girls to come with them and sprayed shaving cream and silly string all over the chosen adult leaders and then ran back to our cabin. We sat giggling and waiting for them to come back and get us with silly string and the like because we had sent the girls over there. In a few minutes we saw flashlights heading our way and suddenly our cabin was pitch black and filled with fake snores. The younger girls who had assisted in the prank came in crying. Two of the adult leaders had yelled at them. One said a swear word (the mildest one). One had an asthma attack. The pranksters and the guilty leaders had to go over and apologize to the adults and the younger girls who got yelled at. Everyone was crying (except me, I'm not a crier). I thought I was going to be sent home or have to drive some girls home in the middle of the night. Instead, while we were walking back and the repentant pranksters were crying away, I accidently let a loud toot slip out because I was so nervous and cold. Those girls kept asking me if I was nervous the rest of the week:) That was pretty embarrassing and probably belongs in the funny post. Luckily, coming from the family I have, I just don't get embarrassed that easily. I think my mom, dad and step mom knocked the embarrassment out of me with all their crazy antics.

The food was kind of badish. Everything was swimming with butter and fat and the menu was unbalanced. The kitchen often had too much of one thing and ran out of another. The ovens burned the bottoms of everything while leaving the tops raw. The four slot toaster one had one working slot. The flies were having an extended family reunion in our kitchen. The food was not to my taste at all: hot dogs, sausages, mayonaisy tuna, baloney, soggy egg casserole. Plus I had to be in there every morning at 6 a.m. to prepare food I wouldn't be eating. I did bring some food for myself and the cook did make me a bunch of hard boiled eggs.

I kind of felt like a combination babysitter/prison guard at times. There were a few nights that another woman and I were out patrolling the grounds at 3 a.m. and putting girls back in their cabins or breaking up some suspicious activities. (I don't care if people have same gender attraction issues, I just feel that a church camp is not the place to act on their feelings.) Then I would have to get up to work in the kitchen a few hours later. There was a lot of teen girl drama to sort through and I had forgotten about the emotional roller coaster that teens and tweens go through. I was mystified by some of the problems we had at camp that I had to get involved in. My mom said that it was karma coming to bite me in the butt for being such a troublemaker as a teenager myself. I hate it when she's right;)

. . . and the Funny

A lot of funny stuff happened at camp. There were a bunch of harmless pranks, the girl pictured had her sleeping bag cornstarched by her friend. It was all in good fun because they are both pranksters who played pranks together. 

Another girl stole a bunch of bras and underwear from some adult leaders and before she could run them up the flagpole or freeze them, the camp director came out and said absolutely no pranks. So the girl silently opened a locker in the bathroom and pointed to the unmentionables in front of me. I put them in a plastic bag and was trying to decide what to do with them when an adult leader came up and said, "Give me back my bra! I know you have it." 

One lady grabbed her sleeping bag during the day and went to take a nap in a different cabin, clouds of cornstarch were billowing out of it as she walked along trying to find somewhere to take a nap (she had been up until 5 a.m. sorting out drama). She felt bad because someone poured cornstarch in her sleeping bag after she had officially banned pranks. She took her nap in the nurses' station and then started walking across the camp. A girl (I nicknamed her Sporty Spice) came running towards her:

 

Sporty Spice: Sister K, I've been looking all over for you!

Sister K : I bet you have! (Thinking it was this girl who had pranked her.) 

Sporty Spice:What are you doing with my sleeping bag?

Sister K: This is MY sleeping bag!

Sporty Spice: No, it is my sleeping bag.

Sister K: (Looking down) Look, here on the label it says . . . oh you're right, it is your bag.

Then Sister K felt better because she had pranked herself and it wasn't one of the girls. 

Someone put a hair net in my secret sister pouch with a note: hair net, please use. I started worrying that one of my hairs fell into someone's food and seriously considered wearing the hair net the next time I was in the camp kitchen. It turned out that the head cook stuck it in my pouch as a joke.

Some of the girls were big Rugrats fans and kept singing, "Cynthia, Cynthia, she's a really cool dancer," from Rugrats the movie. We had a lot to discuss in terms of cartoons. BTW, the way to say, "I'm ready, promotion" from SpongeBob the movie in Spanish is, "estoy listo, asenscio."

Hairbaby gets her hair washed

I had to post this picture - its my favorite of Hairbaby's birthday photos. Headbanger and Hairbaby look completely different, but they both have huge cheeks!

Chicken Little's New Chick

The Hair Baby

Flashlight and I are thrilled to announce the early arrival of Hairbaby. She was born on Monday, June 23 at 12:57 pm weighing 7 lb 11 oz and 20 in long.

Hairbaby was scheduled to be born by cesarean section on July 9th, but on Sunday night I started having frequent contractions and Flashlight and I went to labor and delivery to get it checked out. After monitoring me all night, my doctor decided that it would be best not to wait and she was born a few hours later by c-section.

Getting the spinal block was a little scary, but the rest of the birth experience was really positive. Flashlight was with me during the surgery and I got to breastfeed her soon after she was born. She seems to be a content baby but starts screaming when I change her diaper or clothes. Hopefully she'll get used to that soon. I had fantastic nurses who spent hours helping her feed. She hasn't got the hang of it yet, but I think that she'll do much better when my milk comes in.

We came home last night and we're both doing very well. With thick dark hair, she looks the opposite of Headbanger, who only recently decided to grow hair.

Laugh with me about lingerie

My niece, on Flashlight's side, is getting married in a few short weeks. Her bridal shower is a few days before the wedding and I've been asked to buy lingerie. I'm pretty excited by this as I'm 36 weeks pregnant and feeling very un-sexy. Looking through lingerie collections online has helped me feel a little sexier. I keep thinking "ooh, when the baby's born and I've shed the water weight, I can't wait to try something like this..."

The problem is that I don't really know my niece that well. She's LDS (they're getting married in the St. George Temple) and 19 or 20 years old. She's tallish with a slim/medium build and I've been told that red and pink things are out of the question. At the moment I'm leaning toward this (I'm a big fan of Victoria's Secret) in white but I'm not sure. To me, it says innocence in a subtle summery-sexy way, which, in my opintion, is probably good for an inexperienced woman. I often feel out-sexed by lingerie and tend to prefer tamer stuff.

After having a good laugh with Flashlight over some of these, especially the ones in the top row, he suggested something other than white, because white is the color of her regular underwear. He liked this one, which is, um, a little less subtle.

So I need some help here, ladies. What would you recommend for a first-timer on her wedding night?

Treat yourself to a retreat

All this talk lately has taken me back to a few retreats I've taken in my last twelve years of parenting and housewifeing.  Most of them have involved either camping or backpacking alone or with a good friend, but one of my favorites has to be when I went to Kripalu, a yoga retreat center  in the Massachusetts Berkshires.  At the time, the program I did was called Danskinetics,   Danskinetics is all about exploring inner rhythm and expressive movement.   The first day felt a little awkward for me because I felt very exposed in a way that I was unaccustomed to, but after half a day or so, something opened up inside me that washed it all away.  My favorite moment of all was a mid-day dance to the music of  live world drummers.  There were so many people having such a great time that some of us ended up outside dancing barefoot in a rainstorm for an hour.  There was another moment where the instructor played music and asked us to dance through a painful experience we'd had in our lives.  Ok, I know, it all sounds a bit new agey but it was really amazing.

At the beginning of the retreat, I spent a lot of time thinking about what I might learn and I analyzed everything.  After a short time I realized that I learn more by doing than by analyzing every step.  So I checked reflection at the door and threw myself into life and tried to soak up every moment of freedom and movement and sensational organic, vegetarian cooking,  yoga and long walks and going to bed/waking up when I darn well felt like it and just having fun.

Several days after I got home, the things I learned starting surfacing.   I  took away from the experience a greater sense of genuine self-acceptance and acceptance of everyone around me.  I  took away a real understanding that taking care of myself is a crucial piece of fulfilling my desire to be a good mother, wife, friend, sister, daughter, etc.  Wow, it makes me want to go back...

If you could have a few days away to do anything or go anywhere alone, where would you go and what would you do?  Have you ever had a formal or informal retreat that hit the spot?

My First Braids by a Pro

I am going camping with a bunch of teenage girls next week and wanted to put my hair in braids like I used to in college and at Girls' Camp. I have actually done it myself or had a friend do it many times, but I have never had it done by a professional. 

I have an African American friend who very generously spent 6 hours straight braiding my hair today. She put a lot of Carol's Daughter Loc Butter as well as gel in my hair as she was braiding it so it is a little greasy feeling. To make it last as long as possible I have to sleep with it wrapped in a headscarf, wash it very gently and wrap the top part up until it dries to keep it from getting frizzy. 

When she was doing the straight down braids in the back it felt really nice, like when Beau Brummel plays with my hair when we are watching TV together. The top/front of my hair was a different story though, it hurt a lot. Tears were coming out of my eyes when she was doing the little corn rows on top. I think she got excited that she was so close to being done that she hurried and got a little rough with lots of yanking and pulling. But it was worth it. She keeps her own hair in dreadlocks, but braids her daughter's hair in lots of different styles every week.

She was telling me funny stories about when she would get her hair braided in Philadelphia by women who only spoke Patois. Once she ended up staying in the salon until 1:30 a.m. to get it done because the braid were so tiny. Sometimes getting your hair braided is a 2-3 day process. She also said that often her head hurt so badly after getting it braided that she would have to take Tylenol and lay down for the rest of the day. I guess I got off easy with a slight headache, but it looks so cool I don't really mind. Beau Brummel says I look like I could be half African American. When I first looked in the mirror after she was done, I said, "Wow! I look like Alicia Keyes!" (I know, wishful thinking:)

Just Get Out There and Do It!

I went on a longish (18 mile) bike ride with a good friend of mine early this morning, let's call her Farrah Funtime. It was relaxing because it had some gentle hills and stimulating because  Farrah Funtime is a great conversationalist. We talked a little about a friend of ours (let's call her Wanda Wish-a-lot) who is always saying that she wishes she could just wake up and be someone else that she really admires. Farrah Funtime was saying that she would like to say to Wanda Wish-a-lot that instead of wishing to be someone else she should just love herself and if she really wants to, she can work on developing the qualities she admires in other people. What a great piece of advice! 

I feel like for a long time I was doing some similar wishing, but just not verbalizing how I felt. I got tired of listening to my own pathetic mind-whine. Gradually, I just starting do the things I really wanted to do and being who I wanted to be.

 

I think it makes a big difference that we are somewhere we hope is permanent and can put out little friendship rootlets without fear of moving in a year or two like we have been during our whole married life. My kids are all old enough to entertain each other or themselves and are actually fun for me to play with. 

I am finally starting to be the spunky woman I have always wanted to be, a facilitator if you will. Instead of just thinking about being a cyclist, I am a cyclist. Instead of wishing I could get together with friends more, I make it happen or accept other people's invitations and let the housework hang (until the house starts to smell, then I do an intervention). I think it is so important for women to do things that they enjoy for themselves that have absolutely nothing to do with the house, or husband or kids. Farrah Funtime was saying that it is good for kids to see their mothers doing things that they enjoy for themselves so that they know it is healthy for women to have interests outside of the home.

Here are some things I enjoy: cycling, reading until I can't keep my eyes open, knitting, sewing, making earrings, cooking exotic foods, playing board games, laying out, scrapbooking, decorating cupcakes, blogging and trying to grow vegetables. I guess a lot of those things have to do with my family, but you will notice that cleaning and childcare are nowhere in sight.

What do you all enjoy? What are some new things you want to try? What do you plan to do with your life once your children are grown? (I plan on becoming a children's/Young Adult Librarian in a school or possibly opening my own cupcakery.) What makes you glad to be alive? Get out there and do it! Find a babysitter, it is worth the money or babysitting trades to feel like your life isn't just an endless stream of diapers, dishes and laundry. I challenge you to make time for yourself to do something you already really enjoy or take up something new.

I think I might start a local women's cycling group. Beau Brummel is kind of a nay-sayer at this point because he thinks I am spreading myself too thin. But I say, nay to you Beau! Life is for living and I am going to live my brains out.

Keep trust in myself

I recently reached a point where I realised I had to regain trust in myself. I felt crappy and did not know exactly why, considering the fact that I look like a happy mother, a happy wife, have a house and 4 adorable kids at 30. What was wrong?
The answer is now clear to me. Because of my health problems! The French saying is : quand la santé va, tout va. In the opposite, when health is not au rendez-vous, nothing goes well (in the head at least). Reading the post on Lady doctor, I felt a little better thinking, oh, I'm not the only one getting in trouble.
Since June 2007 (my first period after my 4th pregnancy) and May 2008, I had bleedings and spottings continuously, and I have had about 6 cystitis or urinary tract infection. Having taken 4 times antibiotics, having had inbetween that either vomiting or diarrhea (stomach pain anyway) I have been more or less very incomfortable since a year now.
It takes time to analyse and point out what's going wrong. Today, being again sick and taking antibiotics, I know for sure that: what changed after my 4th baby compared with the others is that I started to take the pill and that pill was based on progesteron, then I had a DIU with progesteron as well and the bleedings kept on. Since the gyneco took it out end of April (telling me that I lack obviously oestrogen hormon), I had my first normal cycle since ages in May. I told my husband, "you don't mind if we use condoms the time my hormons get back to normal?" but then, I started to have a cystitis again. I read on the internet that lack of oestrogen and lack of vaginal secretion can lead to vaginal infection and thus urinary infection as well after sexual intercourse. My gyneco told me as well to gain some weight because lipid help produce oestrogen hormon. So, now, I am in a much better mood. My action is : gain weight, produce more oestrogen, to produce more vaginal secretion, to protect better the area from germs! Simpler to say than to do, but at least, I have a plan! I weight 45kg instead of 48kg before marriage and 50kg after giving birth. Even the Wiifit tells me I am underweight...

Banoffee Waffle

I have not lived in England for almost two years now so my memories of our time there are currently rose coloured:). One of my favourite things to eat at the Coton Orchard was their version of banoffee waffles. I craved these constantly and ate them about once a month. You can leave out the Heath bits and mini chips or sprinkle them on top of the waffle instead of inside it. It will still be yummy. I think this would be a nice breakfast to make for Father's Day. Here's my version:

Waffle Batter mixed from recipe on Bisquick box (I know, kind of lame, but with little kids you have to take all the short cuts you can)

heath bits or mini chocolate chips

whipped cream whipped with 2 t sugar and a drop of vanilla

Smucker's Caramel topping

Hershey's syrup

bananas sliced into circles

chocolate bar to shave with microplane grater

Make your waffles in the waffle maker by pouring 1/3 c or more batter in and sprinkling sparingly with Heath bits and mini chocolate chips (about 5 or less minutes to achieve crispy on the outside, soft on the inside). Put on plate, top with whipped cream, then bananas, drizzle with caramel sauce and chocolate syrup and shave a little chocolate on top. 

YAY! We made it to 100 posts!

Housewives Out Loud is now officially . . . official. That was a little anti-climactic. Anyway, good for us! Now in celebration I will reveal a few cupcaking secrets. These include the dip and swirl method, basket weave frosting technique and mini-marshmallow flower petals.

Has anyone had any life changing events they would like to post about? Posting is cathartic and comments can be really supportive. Also, if you have a poll you would like me to put on the blog, email me.

If you were a spice...

This evening, several of the Relief Society Presidency came over to visit. I'm almost 35 weeks along and they wanted to see how I was doing and if they could help with anything. I've been impressed with this presidency, as they seem to be a pretty well-oiled machine.

One of them made the comment that I'm "spicy" - that my life experience is so very different from the other sisters in our ward, who have spent most of their lives in Southern Utah. I was surprised at the word "spicy" and the sister clarified that I was "good spicy". I wasn't offended but thought that this was a funny comment. To me, I'm fairly tame Chicken Little. Sure, I've lived in Scotland, England, have a doctoral degree and some other unusual experiences, but I really don't see myself as spice-material. Maybe a bland spice - like garlic salt or dessicated onion (to me, garlic and onions are mild), but definitely not cayenne pepper or cumin. Heck, I'm not even as exciting as pre-ground black pepper.

Are you spicy? What kind of spice do you identify with?

Lady Doctor

If anyone is uncomfortable talking about women's reproductive health please look away right now . . . 

OK, I warned you.

So I have been skipping 2 or 3 periods at a time and then having one long old horrible heavy period for a month. It really sucks! So I went to my lady doctor (who happens to be a lady) and was chatting with her about it today. 

She told me I should consider endometrial oblation which is where they take out your lining, but she said I couldn't have any more kids if I did that. That sounded way too scary to me. I don't mind have regular periods, just the super-heavy-housebound-for-a-month kind. She also suggested an IUD, but I have too many friends and family members who have had trouble with theirs and I don't like the idea of something foreign taking up residence in an area I like to keep vacant most of the time. She told me she has had a lot of complaints of weight gain from women who get the depo shot. Hmmm . . . all less than ideal or downright crappy.

What I want to do is start taking birth control pills to have more regular and hopefully lighter periods and also clear up this pesky adult acne I can't seem to shake. I have seen tons of ads for YAZ with its catchy "we're not gonna take it" music and wanted to try that. LD said it is one of the best pills out there for stabilizing hormones and controlling acne, but that some insurance companies won't pay for it. She gave me a prescription for Yaz and also for a generic pill. 

LD renewed my prescription for a medication that will stop the bleeding if my current period goes on for more than 7 days. 

As a bonus, I got a Pap smear (after the nurse told me I didn't need one since I had one 11 months ago). I do have to give Lady Doctor props for being thorough. But dang it! I hate getting Pap smears, I always feel kind sore inside afterwards. Lady Doctor also had me get an ultrasound. It would have been very relaxing with the dim lighting and 3 cd player on the wall that changed colors every few minutes (I was mesmerized by that thing) and the warm jelly on my belly, but I did have to drink 32 ounces of water 2 1/2 hours prior to my appointment and then hold my pee through the ultrasound. I thought that was a uncomfortable, but then I got a real treat . . . a transvaginal ultrasound to determine if I had polyps or cysts on my uterus that might be causing the bleeding. That machine looked like a really space age dildo and felt just as creepy as it looked. Oh, and I had to insert it myself. It just doesn't make sense to me that a doctor can stick a speculum, or as I call it, the pinchy duck, in you or gloved fingers, but make you put a transvaginal ultrasound probe in yourself. I was so stunned that I laughed. I felt kind of dirty. Ugh!

Later on, my husband was kind of testing the waters and I said, "I think I've had enough vaginal invasion today, thanks anyway." (I just growled when he suggested we just fool around.) Oh, to be a man and actually be comfortable with your nether regions. 

How can I come to terms with my lady parts? I am tired of all the trouble they are causing. I am sick of their fragility. Bleh! I'm just plain sick of being a woman. How did you all come to terms with visiting the LD, having sex, episiotomies and all that vagina crap? Right now I feel exactly the opposite of the song I Love Being a Girl. The best part of having a vagina is that it brought my kids into the world, with that important job completed I would now like my V to retire in the country somewhere pleasant and far away and return only when I am in the mood (very rarely).