Yesterday was supposed to be Hairbaby's birthday... But she was born two weeks and two (now three) days ago. So far, so good. If I'm honest, dealing with the little baby is the easy part. She eats well, sleeps pretty well and cries very little provided that she gets held enough.
Headbanger (now 15 months) is the tricky one at the moment. She seems to like Hairbaby and is very interested in her, but is having a hard time adjusting. She often bursts into tears for no reason and needs to be held a lot. She hasn't been sleeping well since we brought Hairbaby home and is harder to feed. She requires a lot of attention and reassurance.
All of the things that were hard after Headbanger's birth are now much easier. Having two presents its own set of challenges:
1. They always need to eat at the exact same time and it is impossible to breastfeed Hairbaby and feed Headbanger at the same time. Ok, it probably is possible, but certainly not desirable.
2. I have to keep them apart unless I'm right there to supervise. Headbanger is starting to understand the word 'gentle', but still has a way to go. She also likes to steal Hairbaby's pacifier/dummy.
3. Sometimes both babies will wake up and need attention in the night. This is hard enough with one and completely exhausting with two. Worse still, sometimes one will wake the other by crying and they'll need attention AT THE SAME TIME.
4. Headbanger will always burst into tears at some point while I'm feeding Hairbaby. If you haven't breastfed before, it can be nearly impossible to get your half-asleep newborn to re-latch onto the breast if you have to interrupt the feeding. As soon as she stops feeding, she's fast asleep.
The hardest thing is having to choose between the two of them at times.
6 comments:
I really appreciated this post because I have a 13 month old baby boy at the moment and I'm pregnant. I got pregnant on purpose because I wanted my boy to have a playmate who was close in age. Here's the problem, though: I am having TWINS. When they are born, my boy will be about 18 months old and I can't help thinking about the effect this will have on my baby (as well as my 5 year old girl who will most likely be neglected due to the demands of 3 babies). I know there will be countless sleepless nights with 3 babies and going anywhere will be a major production. Your post made me think about some things I haven't even considered yet- like feeding 3 babies at once??? yikes! Thanks for sharing.
Wow - when I was pregnant with Headbanger I was terrified of having twins. The thing that has got me through these past few weeks has been having Flashlight at home and he's been fantastic. I'd line up lots and lots of help...
WOW CHicken LIttle, things sound a little rough right now. Hang in there. As my mom always says (and truly this is one of the only wise things she has ever said to me and she totally overuses it)--This too shall pass. I feel like it was only yesterday when I had three superneedy kids and two of them in diapers. Jedi and Sassafrass are 20 months apart. Jedi stole Sassafrass' pacifier all the time so I ended up being her human pacifier and as I mentioned before, I ended up lying down on the sidewalk by the Madrid Hard Rock Cafe and nursing her because she would only nurse lying down. Jedi watched a LOT of tv when Sassafrass was first born because I just could not cope with the two of them together. There was also the time when I was stranded in Boise, Idaho on Christmas Eve with 8 month old Sassafrass and 28 month old Jedi and had to nurse Sassafrass lying down on a hotel bed on my side with Jedi lying on top of me because that was the only way he could fall asleep. Maybe that is why I am so claustrophobic now. But now my kids are all older and the fun part of having kids is finally starting to catch up with the hard work part.
Tonight we all drew chalk murals on the sidewalk in our town as part of a sidewalk chalk festival. We can actually go out to eat without the night ending in tears. We can all go to a movie theater together and stay for the whole movie. We go to the library, park, swimming and it is all finally mostly fun and not the constant, frustrating struggle it used to be. I am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. So some day, not too far in the future the fun and struggle will even out. In the meantime, just enjoy what you can.
Congrats to you Molly! I hope your mom is willing to come out and help you for a few months and that M is in preschool. Good Luck!
My first two children were born 19 months apart. When things got tough, I developed my "5 minute rule of mothering two babies at the same time". The rule is this:
When things started to get really hairy, I'd look at the clock and start timing. If it lasted more than five minutes, I could panic. Otherwise, I wouldn't sweat it.
I don't know if we ever passed the five minutes. Sometimes it was amusing with both kids wailing at the same time and me just saying to myself, "Oh yeah? See if you can maintain this craziness for more than five minutes." They rarely could.
The hardest part is trying to meet everyone's needs at the same time. Sometimes it feels impossible.
Most of my memories of those first months and years are intense but joyful.
Willow- I love your 5 Minute Rule. I'm officially adopting it!
I love Willow's five minute rule too, unfortunately my kids can definitely sustain craziness for MUCH longer than 5 minutes. I think that is a skill they learn as they get older. Let's see how far we can push mom until she either explodes and yells or cracks and tears start leaking out. But those crazy days only come around once in a while, finally.
HotDog is superconstipated (and we can't figure out why, because we have been feeding him tons of fruit to help him) and he was crying and struggling on the toilet while squeezing my legs as I rubbed his back. Jedi came over to the bathroom and taped a piece of Ben10 wrapping paper on the wall to cheer HotDog up. I was surprised at how sweet he was being since earlier in the day Jedi and his friends were making constipation jokes.
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