This columnist let her 4th grade son ride the New York City subway by himself and stirred up some controversy. Check out the article 4th Grade Subway Ride and her blog Free Range Kids.
My feelings on this are mixed. Jedi will be in 4th grade next year and I don't even know if I am going to let him ride the school bus because it is mixed with 4th grade all the way up through high school.
I grew up in a non-traditional family situation. At my dad's house on weekdays we had really strict rules: curfew, couldn't be out driving after a certain time, couldn't eat certain foods that were normal in other houses and on and on. On the weekends I would go to my mom's house and there weren't any rules over there. My mom's car only seated 5 so two of us rode in the trunk area (it was a station wagon type of car). My sister almost drowned in the ocean because we went swimming where there was a strong undertow and my mom had no idea where we were. When I lived with my mom in Hawaii she let me walk home to an empty house as a Kindergartener and a man followed me home once and was trying to get into the house while I hid under my bed. Another time she left me in a sugar cane field because I was whining and drove off. She says today that she would have left me there if my little sister hadn't been crying so long and loud for her to go back and pick me up.
My mom once dropped my sisters off on the side of a really windy freeway because they were fighting or annoying her. I rode Bay Area Rapid Transit by myself from the time I was 10 to get to my mom's on the weekends. Once a man was staring at me from across the aisle and touching himself. Actually, a lot of that kind of stuff happened to the girls in my family and it sucked! She let my older sister go to a David Bowie concert with just her friend when she was 11 and picked them up around 3 a.m. when the stadium was nearly empty.
I can't help but wonder what my life would be like had I been a little less neglected by my mom and a little more trusted by my dad. It is true that at my dad's house I did walk to school and was allowed to ride my bike all over the place until dark and I did ride my skateboard and bike without a helmet and down really steep hills.
Now as a parent I am probably way too cautious. I do let my kids ride the bus and most of the time walk home from the bus stop, but the bus stop is only one house away. I let them play outside, but only in the backyard and it is fenced and I am secretly checking on them about every 20 minutes. When they want to ride bikes in the neighborhood I go with them. If they want to play with a friend that isn't right next door, I walk them over. I don't allow them to have sleep overs. I am afraid to take them camping because of weirdoes and wild animals. So I guess I am in the helicopter camp. I don't like them to play at a friend's house if only the dad is at home. I teach my children what to do if they do get lost, they know their phone number, etc., and what types of people to go to for help (a mom with kids, someone with a name tag (preferably a lady). I wish I could be more of a free-ranger, but my childhood was a little more like a series of unfortunate events than little women.
Is the world a scarier place than when we were kids?
What do you all think? What type of parent are you?
