Let's Talk (to our kids) About Sex Baby

So my children brought home a letter from their school last month. Here are some excerpts:

Talking About Sex With Your Child
by Jaxi Rothman
Child, Adolescent, and Family Psychotherapist

"There mere title of this article may send waves of panic through many parents. But in light of Jamie Lynn Spears, the 16 year old actress who plays the main character on the popular Nickelodeon program Zoey 101, becoming pregnant, I thought we might try to tackle this one now.
. . . Kids who feel they can talk to their parents about sex are less likely to engage in high-risk behaviors. Start this discussion when your kids are young; chances are your child has already heard many truths and mostly non-truths about sex, and it can't hurt to initiate the conversation. Know your own values, and know that those values will affect your children; this will help shape what kind of conversation you and your child will have. Depending on the age of the child, you will need to explain no only the mechanics of sex, but also the emotions, responsibilities, and feelings that are so important surrounding sex. Give accurate, age-appropriate information.

For your kindergartners, teach them the correct names for their body parts and answer questions they may have. Their curiosity level may vary greatly at this age. Some kids may ask where babies come from, and some may ask specifically about sex. Continue to answer their questions and follow their lead.

For your 5th graders, talk about body parts and how their bodies are changing and will continue to change as they grow up. Tell them what their body parts do, and where their body parts go in order to have sex. While you are explaining how people become pregnant, explain what people need to do to prevent pregnancy. This may include abstinence and various forms of birth control. Talk about relationships, trust, being in love and about being respectful of other people's bodies and their wishes.

. . . Provide your child with basic information without overwhelming them. Give a brief answer to a question or provide a short sentence and wait and see what your child says next. . . . The tone you set is important and the more relaxed and open you are, the more your child will come to you for guidance and explanation in the future."

I know that was kind of long to read, but I totally agree with what she wrote. I think people don't talk enough about sex in the home. I think a lot of teen pregnancy happens because kids don't know enough to know that they can get pregnant just from having sex one time. Also, kids hear a lot of weird stuff in school from their peers that isn't necessarily true. It is part of our job as parents to instruct and inform. It makes me a little uncomfortable, but I would much rather have my kids asking me how things work than asking older kids.

So far we have only explained the mechanics of sex to our oldest son, Jedi. He was a little surprised about how babies are made. We explained to him that he should only make babies with someone if he is married to them because babies need both a mom and a dad. That is all we have covered so far and for now it is probably enough. We also told him that he shouldn't talk about sex with his friends, just his parents.

How do you all approach this topic with your kids? How soon is too soon? Something taboo always seems more appealing and fascinating. My feeling is that if you make it a part of a normal conversation, it won't seem so mysterious and interesting.

Another reason why it is good to talk about this stuff early on is so that your kids don't get the shock of their lives on their honeymoon. I know way too many people who had uncomfortable or miserable wedding nights resulting from the simple lack of information about something that is an important part of marriage.