So Beau Brummel and I were having pillow talk and we started talking about our most embarrassing moments. He is teaching a class and the essay assignment is on the students' most embarrassing moments. Some of them were pretty funny. I personally have got a ton of good ones but will only share a couple here:
Embarrassing Moment #1: On my sixteenth birthday my friend kidnapped me and dressed me in a really crazy ugly outfit and made me go to school. My mom videotaped it. Later on in the week my mom and friends threw a surprise party at my house complete with disco ball and bouncy castle and dancing. My mom thought it would be cute to make my boyfriend and I dance all alone while everyone looked on and videotaped that as well (but on a different tape).
My boyfriend's family wanted to see us dancing and how the birthday party turned out, so my mom gave them a tape marked "16th Birthday." So I am at my boyfriend's house and they put the tape in and (you guessed it) my mom had accidently given them the first tape which showed me being wrestled to the ground screaming and laughing and stripped down to my underwear (string bikinis with pig pigs printed on them) by my friend. They turned the tape off right away, but they had already seen the worst. I was sooooooooo mortified because his family was super proper and prude and didn't really like me that much in the first place.
Embarrassing Moment #2: I don't really have this problem anymore, but it used to be that when I felt nervous I would get really bad gas. On several occasions this was a source of deep shame for me. One time my boyfriend (a different one than above) and I had gone to see the fireworks on the 4th of July. We beat his family back to his house and felt weird about being there alone because we were afraid that they would think that we had been making out or something. So we decided to listen to music in his car on a cross street and watch for their car and just follow them home when we saw them. So we are sitting there and suddenly a car turns down the street headed towards us and it is someone from church. My boyfriend yells, "Duck, it's __________!" because he thought it would look like we were PARKING (for my foreign friends, in America that means parking by the side of the road in a car and kissing or more). I dive under the glove box to get out of sight so my head and arms and torso are down there, but my teenage butt is on the seat and basically pointed up in the air. I was nervous . . . and so I FARTED a HUGE STANK cloud into his car and all the windows were closed. I pretty much buttercupped him (when you fart in your hand and throw it in someone's face or hold it over their nose, I have brothers if you are wondering how I know this term of disgustingness). He gagged and threw open the car door and staggered onto the street. I managed to open my door and tumble out onto the sidewalk. We left the car doors open and took a little silent stroll around the block to let the car air out. It was a while before he stopped teasing me about that.
I have about 5 more embarrassing fart-related stories, but I would much rather hear some of yours. So please share.
3 comments:
hahah!!! That farting one made me laugh out!! Ok so here's mine:
When I was in 5th grade, the school nurse pulled all the girls and boys into separate rooms to explain the changes that would be taking place during adolesence. So they explained menstural cycles and maxi pads and tampons, etc. Anyhoo, so a few years go by and I hadn't gotten my cycle yet. Then, just before 8th grade, we moved to a new city, 1,000 miles away from where I grew up. About a month or two after school started, I got my first menstural cycle. I had already had the "class" in 5th grade, and I remembered most of it so I wasn't scared or anything. However, I have always been a very independent person, so rather than telling my mom and asking for the goods, I rummaged through the bathroom cupboards and found what I thought I needed. I didn't want to try tampons just yet (the whole idea just seemed a little shady) so I went for the maxi pads. I decided to use the really thin ones because I didn't want to look like I was wearing a diaper under my clothes and the thick ones looked way too bulky. What I didn't realize is that there are heavy days and light days. And I chose to wear a light days ultra thin panty liner on the first heavy day of my period. So about the 2nd or 3rd hour, it leaked through my clothes... a lot. When I stood up at the end of class, all the kids started pointing and laughing (because I sat on the 2nd row so everyone was behind me). I looked down, and saw a big red skid mark on the seat (lucky for me it was plastic!)... and I did the math... there was a huge spot on my backside. So I quickly sat down until everyone else had left. I ran with my back to the wall (as well as I could, anyway) to my locker where I had a sweatshirt. I tied it around my waist for the rest of the day. There were a few mean girls that pointed and laughed for a long time after that. I was mortified!!!
You would not believe how hard I am laughing. Boy did I need a laugh.
Wow, I don't have anything as good as the one's mentioned. Mine usually have to do with peeing. Both of these stories occured on my mission in England.
1# My companion and I were on our way to a distict meeting at the chapel (this is where a bunch of missionary get together and talk about how things are going) anyway I REALLY had to pee but the building was locked. So after waiting awhile I went down this incline to relieve myself. Right as I squat down and begin to go the Elders (male missionaries) come over the hill and yell. "Hey ____ whatcha doing". Well I jumped jump and proceeded to pee all over the back of my skirt. So I had to go to the meeting wet and smelling of pee.
2# This also happen on my mission. I was once again relieving myself outside and sat right down on some stinging nittle (sp?). For those of you who don't what that is, it's like poison ivy with a terrible bite. So I ended up having to go to the doctor and they had to call my mission president to get permission to treat me. Well instead of taking the call he has he's secretary put it on speaker phone (not knowing what the call was about). So the nurse begins to tell him how I was going pee outside and sat on some stinging nittle and now I had a bad stinging rash all over my privates and bottom. This is the embrassing part, he was right in the middle of a meeting with several of the male missionary. Needless to say I was called Sister Nittle or Sister P for sometime.
OK, those are hilarious! Thanks for sharing! The period thing happened to me, but as an adult and the seat was a cloth one in my father-in-law's rental car and even though I scrubbed and scrubbed at it, the stain wouldn't come out.
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