Camping Virgin Gets Laid

So I have never been a big fan of camping. My camping experience was pretty much limited to Girl's Camp as a tween and teenager and while I liked the spiritual atmosphere, the hiking and camping parts kind of stunk. There was one year when the leaders underestimated the amount of food we would need and we spent a week backpacking through Yosemite, with severely rationed food for the last 3 days. I used to have allergic reactions to mosquito bites as well (they swelled up to half golf ball-sized lumps on my face on group picture day). Fun times. I have been very very very resistant to camping because of those experiences. Now I feel major anxiety about wild animals, weirdoes with guns, being outside in the dark and getting lost.  So much so that every time anyone asked us to go camping I always had many excuses not to go. 

A friend of ours invited us to go camping with a bunch of families this past weekend and I decided to bite the bullet and go (after Beau Brummel accepted without consulting me and I had to save face). I felt like I was being ridiculous in my fear of camping. If other sane parents can and have been doing it for years why couldn't I? The weekend before we visited some friends who took us kayaking and fishing. It was pretty fun and segued beautifully into our first family camping trip. 

The State Park we camped is about 1/2 an hour away so it is perfect for the outdoorsly challenged folk like myself. If it rained to hard or I got scared I could pack up and drive home in the middle of the night. There is a 300 foot white sand beach by a lake which has a playground and a concessions stand and bathrooms. The lake water was brain freezing cold so we waded. Only Beau Brummel was extreme enough to go all the way in. The kids dug holes and buried each other in the sand and played water tag with one very fun adult (not me obviously). At night we ate potluck style and everyone brought great food: pasta salad, rice salad with cashews, hummus and veggies, crackers with pesto and tomatoes, grilled chicken and shrimp. I brought a pasta salad and rhubarb muffins. Then we all sat around the fire and some of us sang and played the guitar (not me again) and made s'mores. (BTW, Marshmallow Peeps make THE BEST roasted marshmallows because the sugar on the outside caramelizes similar to the top of creme brulee.) One of the dads is a local singer and sang some Elvis. During one of his songs I was roasting marshmallows and they caught on fire. I foolishly started shaking my stick to put out the flames and one of the marshmallows flew through the air and landed on my sleeve, still flaming. Surprisingly no one panicked, not even me. I blew it out and ate if off my slightly singed sleeve. The singer, a true professional, finished his song without pause and then thanked me for supplying the pyrotechnics. 

I got to do a little Camping Mythbusters as well. Did you know you can make biscuits in a campfire using a stick and Bisquick mixed with water? Did you know you can boil water in a paper cup? It is true! The only thing I didn't get to test out was frying an egg in a paper bag with bacon on the campfire, but I am not going to let the grass grow under my feet. I think I will go camping again when my mom and sister are visiting this month.

I also got to eat mountain pies which are made using a cast iron pie iron, bread and canned pie filling. That was thrilling since I had read all about mountain pies the week before. Beau Brummel says I can't have a pie iron until I go camping 6 times. With all the campfire cookery I tried, I neglected to make a tinfoil dinner. I will definitely try it out next time. I didn't want to run before I figured out if I could walk the camping walk.

I did have a couple things that interfered with my newfound camping lurv: once I thought Sassafrass was lost and I had a heart pounding 15 minutes running around trying to find her and at the same time not scream her name and demand that everyone allow me to search their campers (she was at the beach playground with all the other kids and the dads, I knew she was going with them, but didn't actually see her go with them). On our way back from the beach, Jedi took us on a short cut which turned out to be an un-scenic trek through the woods in the dark carrying HotDog on my back and holding Sassafrass' hand while she thought she saw burglars, bears, and wolves. We walked past our campsite and made a 20 minute loop in the dark before we finally found it after tripping over roots and rocks in the dark (yes, this unseasoned greenhorn forgot to carry a flashlight). My final and most potentially embarrassing mishap was when I woke in the middle of the night because my bladder was screaming to be emptied. I couldn't find a flashlight and I was too scared to try to find my way to the bathroom so I went pee a little ways from my tent out in the open with tons of other tents of people I had met close by. Luckily I think they were all asleep, but the whole time I was peeing I was thinking, "what if a bear sees me and bites my butt?" or "what if a wolf smells me and starts running over here?" 

Jedi like burning leaves, sticks and pine needles best. He started an unauthorized fire with another child. HotDog's definition of camping is, "when you get to sleep in your clothes in a tent and you don't need pajamas." Sassafrass' favorite part was wading and catching minnows.

Our family was slightly out of place in terms of granola-ness. We were probably the least crunchy family there. I think I was one of the few women wearing a bra and I'm almost positive I was the only one who shaves her legs and armpits. I think our kids were some of the only non-homeschoolers too. But with kayaking and fishing one weekend and camping the next, I think we're well on our way to crunchiness. I did actually make and bring my own toffee granola which was a big a hit as the camping itself.