Every marriage has spoken and unspoken rules that hold it all together. In my marriage, most of our rules are unspoken, but central to how we treat each other. Here are a few of the big ones...
Rule #1: No Nagging. I've realized that I only ever have to ask Flashlight to do something once. Asking repeatedly if he's done a particular task leads to a lot of resentment. On our house, not nagging is a huge sign of trust and respect.
Rule #2: Make time for sex. There have been a bunch of times in my marriage when having sex was difficult, for a bunch of reasons. We also have different libidos. But when we've made time for lots of regular sex, we're both happier and more content with things. Its not that sex plays a central role in our marriage, its just a very important extra and one pleasurable way of showing love.
What are your rules?
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Marriage Rules
Posted by Nancy Ross at 2:18 PM
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1 comments:
We don't have any real set in stone rules. Beau Brummel would probably like to adopt your rule #2 though (we have different libido fluctuations as well).
Division of labor has evolved organically in our house and here's the breakdown:
Opal*Q:laundry, load dishwasher, cook meals on weekdays, homework duty, buyer of birthday presents, major housecleaning, majority of childcare.
Beau Brummel: majority of yardwork and home repair, unloading dishwasher, making packed lunches, taking out trash, earning money.
I guess we kind of have a rule(ish) about being able to get out of the house separately to pursue our own interests in the evenings. Beau Brummel plays soccer and basketball one night a week each and I sometimes scrapbook at a friend's house one night or so a week. Maybe we need some rules. But I find that if I try to make a rule, it gets broken very quickly (sometimes even by me!). I was never one for rules I guess because I had SO many growing up at my dad's house. Once someone tells me not to do something, I automatically want to do it. Childish, I know. It must be psychological. I think your two rules are great.
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