Helicopter vs. Free-Range Parenting

This columnist let her 4th grade son ride the New York City subway by himself and stirred up some controversy. Check out the article 4th Grade Subway Ride and her blog Free Range Kids.

My feelings on this are mixed. Jedi will be in 4th grade next year and I don't even know if I am going to let him ride the school bus because it is mixed with 4th grade all the way up through high school. 

I grew up in a non-traditional family situation. At my dad's house on weekdays we had really strict rules: curfew, couldn't be out driving after a certain time, couldn't eat certain foods that were normal in other houses and on and on. On the weekends I would go to my mom's house and there weren't any rules over there. My mom's car only seated 5 so two of us rode in the trunk area (it was a station wagon type of car). My sister almost drowned in the ocean because we went swimming where there was a strong undertow and my mom had no idea where we were. When I lived with my mom in Hawaii she let me walk home to an empty house as a Kindergartener and a man followed me home once and was trying to get into the house while I hid under my bed. Another time she left me in a sugar cane field because I was whining and drove off. She says today that she would have left me there if my little sister hadn't been crying so long and loud for her to go back and pick me up.

My mom once dropped my sisters off on the side of a really windy freeway because they were fighting or annoying her. I rode Bay Area Rapid Transit by myself from the time I was 10 to get to my mom's on the weekends. Once a man was staring at me from across the aisle and touching himself. Actually, a lot of that kind of stuff happened to the girls in my family and it sucked! She let my older sister go to a David Bowie concert with just her friend when she was 11 and picked them up around 3 a.m. when the stadium was nearly empty.

I can't help but wonder what my life would be like had I been a little less neglected by my mom and a little more trusted by my dad. It is true that at my dad's house I did walk to school and was allowed to ride my bike all over the place until dark and I did ride my skateboard and bike without a helmet and down really steep hills.

Now as a parent I am probably way too cautious. I do let my kids ride the bus and most of the time walk home from the bus stop, but the bus stop is only one house away. I let them play outside, but only in the backyard and it is fenced and I am secretly checking on them about every 20 minutes. When they want to ride bikes in the neighborhood I go with them. If they want to play with a friend that isn't right next door, I walk them over. I don't allow them to have sleep overs. I am afraid to take them camping because of weirdoes and wild animals. So I guess I am in the helicopter camp. I don't like them to play at a friend's house if only the dad is at home. I teach my children what to do if they do get lost, they know their phone number, etc., and what types of people to go to for help (a mom with kids, someone with a name tag (preferably a lady). I wish I could be more of a free-ranger, but my childhood was a little more like a series of unfortunate events than little women. 

Is the world a scarier place than when we were kids?

What do you all think? What type of parent are you? 

3 Ingredient Peanut Butter Cookies

This is redundant for Molly since I think she has this recipe, but I love it because it is so quick! You can make peanut butter cookies in 20 minutes. I have made them twice in the past week. They take a longer to cool and are a little more fragile than peanut butter cookies with flour in them. I use a small ice cream scoop instead of rolling them into balls to make them even faster.

1 c peanut butter

1 c sugar

1 egg

Mix all. Roll into 1" balls and flatten with a fork. Bake at 350 F for 8-10 minutes. Let cool for 5-7 minutes before eating. 

Chinese Chicken Salad

Is it politically correct to call this salad "Chinese" when I really doubt that this is an authentic Chinese dish? Oh well, I am part Chinese (1/16 to be exact) so I am going to sanction it for the purposes of this blog. This was one of the first things I ever made successfully as a a newly married, newly meat eating woman. It is a nice cold dinner for a hot summer day.

1 1/2 c cooked, diced chicken

8-10 green onions, thinly sliced (I use way less, we are not an onion loving family)

1 green cabbage, finely shredded using a knife, not a cheese grater

1 small package slivered almonds, toasted if you like

1 package Top Ramen 

Dressing:

1/2 c olive oil

6 T rice vinegar

1 t salt and pepper

1 Chicken flavor Top Ramen seasoning packet

4 T sugar

Mix dressing ingredients in a jar. Toss chicken, cabbage, almonds and green onions with dressing in a bowl. Let sit in fridge for at least an hour. Top with crush dry Top Ramen noodles just before serving.

Blackened Fish Tacos

This recipe calls for tilapia, but I used orange roughy with success. Beau Brummel and I love these! I didn't have the seasoning, so I made my own. I don't care for radishes, so I skip those. I do care for cheese top on and also for sour cream mixture with a little Cholula hot sauce drizzled on top.

Cajun or blackened fish seasoning:

2 t garlic powder

4t thyme

2 t onion powder

2 t paprika

1 T sugar

2 t salt

2 t pepper

1 t cayenne pepper

1 t oregano

3/4 t cumin

1/2 t nutmeg

Mix and keep stored in a Tupperware in spice cabinet.

Slaw:

1/4 c sliced green onions with tops

2 T snipped fresh cilantro

1 T fresh lime juice

1 T vegetable oil

1 garlic clove, pressed

1 t sugar

1/2 t cajun or blackened fish seasoning

2 c broccoli slaw ( or shredded cabbage and carrots)

Fish:

1 pound tilapia fillets

1 T Cajun or blackened fish seasoning

1 avocado, seeded and sliced

8 (6") corn tortillas

3 medium radishes

additional snipped fresh cilantro for garnish

For slaw, combine all except shredded vegetables and whisk until blended. Toss with shredded vegetables to coat. Cover and refrigerate until ready to serve. 

Heat a grill pan or better yet, your George Foreman grill for 5 minutes over medium. Moisten fillets with water and sprinkle with Cajun seasoning. Lightly spray pan with Pam. Place fillets in pan; cook over medium heat 10-12 minutes (or half the time in Georege Foreman grill) or until fish flakes easily with fork, carefully turning once (or not at all in grill). Remove from heat. Flake fish into bite-size pieces.

Warm tortillas in microwave and top evenly with slaw mixture and fish. Grate radishes evenly over fish. Top with avocado slices and sprinkle with cilantro.

Quick Tamale Pie

We often have leftover cornbread muffins from the nights I make chili or soup. I had a bunch leftover and came up with this recipe to use them up. It is inspired by Amy's Tamale pie found in the vegetarian frozen foods section. Beau Brummel and I both liked it. It takes about 20 minutes to make. You can use cooked ground beef or turkey if you don't like Boca grounds.

1 T oil

1/2 onion chopped

1 small zucchini, chopped

1 c sliced mushrooms

1 can black beans, drained and rinsed

1 can corn, drained or 1 c frozen corn

1 packet of Boca grounds, or cooked ground beef or turkey

1 can chopped tomatoes with juice

fresh ground pepper and coarse sea salt to taste

1/2 t cumin

1/2 t chili powder

cornbread muffin, halved horizontally

cheddar cheese

Heat oil in skillet over medium. Add onion and cook until tender. Add zucchini and mushrooms and cook out some of the liquid. Season with cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper. Add corn until heated through. Add canned tomatoes with juice. When tomatoes with juice are heated through, add Boca grounds. When Boca grounds are heat through, add black beans. Put cornbread muffin halves on top of mixture in a single layer. Shred a bunch of cheddar cheese on top of muffin halves and put a lid on the skillet. Turn the heat down to low and keep lid on until cheese has melted and muffin halves are heated through from steam.

3 Dresses for $3, I'm Not Kidding!

So I was returning some pants at Old Navy because Beau Brummel did not approve of them. I tried to not listen, but as usual, he was right and I saw that they were ugly. I kind of hate how my husband has a better sense of fashion than I do. 

Anyway while I was at O.N. I saw that these dresses were on sale for 97 cents a piece! Isn't that crazy cheap? The fabric is kind of a stretchy velvet, so these are more for church or fancy restaurants in the winter than our current season. They were originally $40. This first one is my favorite because it is brown and I think I might be able to wear it with jeans (but probably with skinny ankle ones) as a top as well as alone as a dress. The red one is my least favorite, but hey, for a dollar I think I'll keep it to wear at a Christmas party or as a costume (Mrs. Claus, a sexy vampiress). The black one serves as a little black dress. I know the sleeves are kind of funky, but I like funky. I happen to have shoes to match all three, but I think they all need necklaces. 

If you are wondering why my legs look a little scary muscular, it is because I am training for my local triathlon by riding 10 miles a day towing HotDog behind me on a tagalong. 

Chicken or Tofu with Julienne Peppers

Chicken or Tofu with Julienne Peppers

This dish is great over rice, boiled new potatoes or pasta. Julienne strips are vegetables cut as thin as matchsticks, but of course you can cut them thicker. Sorry, the picture wouldn't load.

6 chicken breast halves (or two tofu cutlets, sliced into 6 pieces each)

2 T olive oil

1 C finely chopped onion

2 carrots, finely chopped

4 cloves garlic, minced

1 (14 1/2 oz.) can whole Italian style tomatoes, cut up

1 c chicken or vegetable broth

1/2 c orange juice

1 t dried rosemary, crushed

1 sweet red pepper, cut into julienne strips

1 green sweet pepper, cut into julienne strips

1 yellow pepper, cut into julienne strips

2 T snipped parsley

Sprinkle chicken with 1/4 t salt and 1/8 t pepper. In a skillet over medium heat, heat olive oil until hot. Add chicken (tofu) to skillet; cook about 10 min or until golden, turning  occasionally. Transfer chicken to a plate; reserve drippings. Add onion, carrots and garlic to reserved drippings; reduce heat to low. Cover and cook about 5 minutes or until the vegetables are crisp tender. Carefully add undrained tomatoes, broth, oj and rosemary. Add browned chicken or tofu to skillet and simmer for 30 minutes. Add julienned red, green and yellow sweet peppers to mixture. Cover and simmer for 5-10 min. more or until the peppers and crisp tender or chicken is no longer pink. Remove chicken or tofu from skillet. Ladle vegetable mixture into serving bowls; top each serving with a chicken breast or several tofu pieces. Sprinkle with parsley. 

Chicken Wellington

Chicken Wellington (serves 8) 

Sorry this picture is so junky, I had to take it with photo booth and a picture of a picture usually doesn't turn out great. Anyway, this is my favorite thing to make for company. I usually make it ahead of time. I have also made it with slices of portabello mushroom in place of the chicken (Willow) and liked the results.

8 medium chicken breast halves

6 T lemon juice

2 T butter

1 large onion finely chopped

1 large shallot, finely chopped

1 can condensed cream of mushroom soup

2 T snipped fresh cilantro

1/4 t pepper

1 package (2 sheets) frozen puff pastry, thawed

2 egg yolks, beaten

2 T butter

1 large shallot, finely chopped

1 c sliced fresh mushrooms

1/2 c white wine

Preheat oven to 350 F. Rinse chicken breasts. Place chicken in baking dish. Sprinkle with lemon juice. Cover and bake in oven 30-45 min or until chicken is tender and no longer pink. Cool slightly. Increase oven temperature to 450 F. In large skillet, heat 2 T butter. Add onion and shallot and cook until tender. Stir in undiluted mushroom soup, cilantro and pepper. Simmer, uncovered, for 5-10 min. Remove from heat and cool completely. Meanwhile, on lightly floured suface, roll each sheet of thawed pastry to 12" square. Cut each pastry sheet into four 6" squares. Place on cooked chicken breast half in the center of each square. Spoon about 2 T soup mixture onto each piece of chicken. Brush edges of pastry with water. Wrap pastry around the chicken, pressing the edges neatly and firmly together. Place pastry wrapped chicken pieces, seam side down, on a lightly greased baking sheet. Brush with beaten egg yolk. Bake uncovered in 450 F oven for 10 minutes. Reduce heat to 425 F; bake about 10 minutes more or until pasty is golden brown. Meanwhile, in a medium skillet, heat the 2 T butter, add finely chopped shallot and cook for 2 min. Add wine and simmer uncovered 5 min. Top each serving with mushroom sauce.

* Can be frozen ahead of time w/o baking first or egg wash. Place on greased baking sheet, brush with egg yolk and bake in 375 oven for 25-30 minutes.

30 Minute Recipes

I have a book for every mom who has ever heard the question "What's for dinner?" I don't know if you all love the good folks at the magazine Cook's Illustrated as much as I do but, they are wonderful! The editors of the mag also do a public TV cooking show called America's Test Kitchen and they have a series of cookbooks that are nearly infallible. So, for all of you busy moms (that's everyone, right?) there is a cookbook to help you out of your dinner rut. It's called The Best 30-Minute Recipe. There are lots of soups, my fav is the Asian Chicken Noodle, pastas, egg-y dishes, simple sautees, and stir-fries (yummy chicken and beef teriyakis). There is nothing too fancy. Just good, quick, simple meals. I'll try to remember to post a pic and recipe next time I try something new from the book. Now, I'm off to plan and shop for the week...

Dinner 911

The title for this post is really the best description I could think of. I don't know about any of you other moms, but I have the daily task of feeding my family. I really love great food and I am a pretty decent cook, but sometimes I really feel like I just get into a rut that I can't dig myself out of. I fall into the habit of buying the same things when I shop for groceries and cooking the same meals week after week. I really like the things I make- if I didn't, I wouldn't make them- but I could really use some new recipes once in a while. My dinners have become very boring. If you have a few minutes, I would love to know your what you & your families like. I love to try new things, and my family is generally very accommodating in this regard. Can anyone help???

Are they weird or am I?

You gals have got to see this. I think it is a little creepy. I'm all for letting kids decide when to stop nursing, but these two girls are going to have trouble later on in life I think from the attachment to their mom's boobs. Tell me what you think.

8 year old breastfeeding

My Family Has A Monopoly on Crazy

When some people talk about their "crazy family", what they really mean to say is that their family is wacky and a little weird, but fun. When I say that my family is crazy, I mean just that. They're certifiable. I won't go into the details.

Two years ago, I spent some time working on my genealogy. I spoke with aunts and grandparents and wrote down many of their stories. As it turns out, I come from a long line of people with real issues. These people cultivated their issues, were attracted to and then married other people with issues and gave birth to generations of issue-holders. Perhaps my posterity will thank me for nothing other than marrying a genuinely normal person and trying to breed out some of the issues, or dilute some of the crazy in my blood. My sister is also en route to doing the same thing. There may still be some hope for our family genes.

My parenting philosophy basically boils down to "Don't Be Crazy". This seems straightforward, but can be harder than you think, if you're from a crazy family. Before opening my mouth or following a particular course of action, I have to ask myself "Would my parents have done or said this?" If the answer is "yes", then I probably shouldn't do it. Its probably a crazy thing to do.

So here's to all of you who are survivors of crazy families. Try not to be crazy too.

T-shirt Surgery

This shirt (my dad's old one) started out as a Men's XL and I snipped and sewed it so it would fit my somewhat smaller and more curvy frame. Here's how I did it:

Materials:

1 shirt that is way too big for you

1 shirt that fits perfectly

scissors

pins

sewing machine

thread in a matching or contrasting color

1. Turn the way too big shirt inside out and smooth out wrinkles on a flat surface.

2. Lay perfect fit shirt over too big shirt lining up collars and shoulders as much as possible.

3. Cut too big shirt 1/2" bigger than perfect fit shirt using perfect fit as a guide.

4. Pin edges of newly cut too big shirt together (don't pin armholes shut).

5. Sew 1/4" from the raw edge of the shirt. The sleeve and bottom of edge of the shirt will roll         unless you hem them, but that gets a little advanced. I did hem the sleeves and bottom of the     blue shirt above. 

This is a fun project for YW or just yourself. I have performed surgery on quite a few of my dad's old shirts. Some have turned out great and others not so much. My feeling is that since I live in t-shirts and jeans, I can never have enough t-shirts. And since I's po' folk I am making new t-shirts out of old ones lying around. My next project is skirts. If you like to sew check out ETSY and Sew Subversive. 

Headbanger's First Birthday!

Yesterday, April 4th, was Headbanger's first birthday! I'd been looking forward to it for a while. I can't believe that she's a whole year old, but even more so, I can't believe that we've both survived this long. I can't believe that I've survived (mostly) stay-at-home motherhood for this long. And not only have we survived, but I think that we've done pretty well.

Eating the cake.

Other than the two bumps on her head, which seems to be magnetically attracted to the coffee table, and the eczema on her knees, she's perfectly formed and retains all of her original fingers and toes. She nearly always sleeps through the night, eats her vegetables and is a happy kid.

During the first few months, I wasn't sure that I was going to make it. At three months old, it was still taking an hour and a quarter to feed her and she ate eight times a day - for a combined total of 10 HOURS OF EATING PER DAY EVERY DAY! I was losing my mind as I spent the majority of my waking hours glued to the same spot on the sofa. Now, it takes about 5-10 minutes for her to gulp down a bottle (5 or 6 times a day) and about twenty minutes to eat solid food (twice a day). We made it! I really didn't think I would.

The three of us and Flashlight's parents visited England when Headbanger was three and a half months old. When we got back, she refused to nap during the day and after two weeks, we were both going crazy. She was exhausted and I was at my wits end trying to get her to sleep. In a moment of desperation, I ran to the library and checked out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" and read it in an afternoon. I started implementing its advice the next day and life improved dramatically over the following week.

When I started teaching my class in August, I thought it would make life harder for everyone. But teaching forced me to implement more of a schedule and Headbanger responded very well to this. Teaching also got me out of the house and forced me to do something intellectual twice a week. Instead of a burden, it was a lifesaver.

The biggest test of my sanity has been pregnancy. I couldn't believe that I was pregnant so soon after having Headbanger Fortunately, morning sickness only lasted 12 weeks instead of four and a half months. Headbanger has also become more dependent in the last month or two and doesn't need me to entertain her continually. I don't have as much energy as I'd like, but I'm much more functional this time around. At this stage in pregnancy with Headbanger it was all I could do to get off of the sofa and do anything. This time around, I'm able to take care of her, take care of myself, keep on top of the laundry, dishes and floors, teach a class, volunteer at the local art museum and run a cub scout group.

I guess that I didn't know what I could do. I was terrified at the beginning of this pregnancy that it would be just like the last. And the last was hard enough to make me consider never having another child. But I did it! The three of us have survived each other and we're on our way to becoming four. I am genuinely looking forward to the new baby.

Marriage Rules

Every marriage has spoken and unspoken rules that hold it all together. In my marriage, most of our rules are unspoken, but central to how we treat each other. Here are a few of the big ones...

Rule #1: No Nagging. I've realized that I only ever have to ask Flashlight to do something once. Asking repeatedly if he's done a particular task leads to a lot of resentment. On our house, not nagging is a huge sign of trust and respect.

Rule #2: Make time for sex. There have been a bunch of times in my marriage when having sex was difficult, for a bunch of reasons. We also have different libidos. But when we've made time for lots of regular sex, we're both happier and more content with things. Its not that sex plays a central role in our marriage, its just a very important extra and one pleasurable way of showing love.

What are your rules?

Which Character?

Take the Quiz here!

I end up as Elizabeth Bennet which I am very happy with. Does that mean Beau Brummel is Mr. Darcy?

Itsy Bitsy

Hey, here's a bikini I knitted out of red heart baby weight acrylic. It took me about a month with lots of increasing and decreasing and I even had to using knitting elastic. But my sister was really happy with the results and wore it all week in Cabo. Have any of you knitted anything lately or made anything you are particularly proud of?

Magical Music

I am having a magic theme birthday party for PetShopgirl who shall from this day forth be known as Sassafrass because she has become so SASSY to me lately. I have everything else planned pretty much, but would like some music that is related to magic or magical creatures for background music and for pass the parcel and freeze dance. Here is my list so far:

Magic Dance-David Bowie

The Witch is in the House-Ms. Piggy

Do You Believe in Magic?- The Loving Spoonful

Thumbalina-Harry Nilsson

Three is a Magic Number-Bob Dorough

I like Witchy Woman by the Eagles, Genie in a Bottle by Cristina Aguilera and also Magic Man by Heart, but felt they weren't dancy enough or age appropriate. 

Thanks for your help!